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    29 Jokes About Trader Joe's That Are Too Darn Accurate

    "If I ever did drugs, I'd definitely do Trader Joe's peppermint Joe-Joe's."


    I told my therapist, "I just want to be as happy as a Trader Joe's cashier."


    Trader Joes will $2.99 yo ass to death.



    Every single product produced by Trader Joes is fcking flame. it all tastes like it was handcrafted by joe himself in the kitchen of his humble abode. the crunchy mochi? Amazing. Everything but the bagel seasoning? Fuck me. salsas! cauli gnocchi! cookie butter!THE DESSERTS?! FIRE


    just ran into trader joes and screamed “FUCK WHOLE FOODS” and everyone started chearing and doing backflips


    sometimes to blow off steam i just fuckin walk around trader joes. love the vibe in there



    Being in your 20s is so cool because some of your friends are getting engaged and having babies and some of your friends are partying every night and doing cocaine and im just aimlessly wandering up and down the aisles at Trader Joe’s searching for a purpose in life


    I used to want a boyfriend but now I just go to trader joe’s once a week and make conversation with a cashier it’s the same level of intimacy


    Not gunna lie the wh*tes really did fucking snap with Trader Joe’s


    how did trader joe’s build such a solid brand to the point where they can sell me a microwaveable burrito and I still think it’s healthy ?? we have to hand it to trader joe on this


    shaving my entire body before i go to trader joe’s just incase the employee w face tats finally decides to risk it all


    the Trader Joe’s cashier just finished bagging my groceries and asked me “what are you passionate about?” ....I don’t think my last boyfriend even got that intimate with me


    I’m “get unreasonably attached to something they sell at Trader Joe’s and freak out when it seems like they no longer sell it” years old



    name one mental health professional that could teach me as much about emotional intimacy as a Trader Joe’s cashier


    The aisles at Trader Joe's are designed so that you have to get in the way of the same agitated single mother three times.


    Ya boy is back with more Trader Joe’s products that fit into “Eleanor Rigby.”


    My moms camped out for a new Trader Joe's store opening today like it was a new iPhone. Lesbian vegetarians are so crazy.


    If I ever did drugs I'd definitely do Trader Joe's peppermint joe joes


    Why can't our government be run with the same friendly efficiency as a Trader Joe's?


    Just gasped from excitement while reading about new items in the Trader Joe's Fearless Flyer newsletter. Someone come check me for a pulse.


    My local Trader Joe's has run out of coconut oil. I just hope this doesn't end in violence


    Me after leaving my 36 reusable bags at home and the Trader Joe’s cashier asks if I brought one


    no matter how much or little you buy at trader joe's it always costs exactly $40


    why is trader joes like the spot for everything where is joe and how do i trade him my virginity i wanna f*ck him


    me: hey trader joes worker w/ ponytail: have u tried the vegan cheese. it tastes just like regular cheese


    The devil works hard but the Trader Joes florist works harder.


    Used to love mosh pits for the aggressive human contact but now I just shop at Trader Joe's on a Sunday