Food·Posted on Sep 8, 201929 Jokes About Trader Joe's That Are Too Darn Accurate"If I ever did drugs, I'd definitely do Trader Joe's peppermint Joe-Joe's."by Lauren GarafanoBuzzFeed StaffLinkFacebookPinterestTwitterMail 1. Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien I told my therapist, "I just want to be as happy as a Trader Joe's cashier." 07:05 PM - 01 May 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 2. Daddy. @N9_L5 Trader Joes will $2.99 yo ass to death. 01:58 PM - 12 Aug 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 3. ryan Ⓥ @espeonb0y me when i go to trader joe’s 02:49 AM - 18 Jun 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 4. kendra @kendraaaleighh Every single product produced by Trader Joes is fcking flame. it all tastes like it was handcrafted by joe himself in the kitchen of his humble abode. the crunchy mochi? Amazing. Everything but the bagel seasoning? Fuck me. salsas! cauli gnocchi! cookie butter!THE DESSERTS?! FIRE 02:42 AM - 16 Aug 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 5. Cody Ko @codyko just ran into trader joes and screamed “FUCK WHOLE FOODS” and everyone started chearing and doing backflips 07:48 PM - 02 Nov 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 6. Cody Ko @codyko sometimes to blow off steam i just fuckin walk around trader joes. love the vibe in there 06:51 PM - 11 Sep 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 7. 🐢 @smashedmcdouble me: cool its fall trader joes: 01:35 PM - 25 Oct 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 8. kendra @kendraaaleighh Being in your 20s is so cool because some of your friends are getting engaged and having babies and some of your friends are partying every night and doing cocaine and im just aimlessly wandering up and down the aisles at Trader Joe’s searching for a purpose in life 02:29 AM - 28 May 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 9. jen merritt!!! @jennifermerr I used to want a boyfriend but now I just go to trader joe’s once a week and make conversation with a cashier it’s the same level of intimacy 05:08 AM - 30 May 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 10. Patron Goddess of Sorrel @sakilegrannum Not gunna lie the wh*tes really did fucking snap with Trader Joe’s 10:08 PM - 01 Feb 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 11. AUBREY @aubrey031018 how did trader joe’s build such a solid brand to the point where they can sell me a microwaveable burrito and I still think it’s healthy ?? we have to hand it to trader joe on this 06:08 PM - 27 Nov 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 12. alexa @playnikes shaving my entire body before i go to trader joe’s just incase the employee w face tats finally decides to risk it all 11:22 PM - 21 Mar 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 13. presley @preslatte the Trader Joe’s cashier just finished bagging my groceries and asked me “what are you passionate about?” ....I don’t think my last boyfriend even got that intimate with me 02:28 AM - 22 Feb 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 14. Mara “Get Rid of the Nazis” Wilson @MaraWilson I’m “get unreasonably attached to something they sell at Trader Joe’s and freak out when it seems like they no longer sell it” years old 12:45 AM - 21 Aug 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 15. flon @frvnxcesca Trader Joe's in the bay lit 02:35 AM - 03 Dec 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 16. bhed bug @BUGPOSTING name one mental health professional that could teach me as much about emotional intimacy as a Trader Joe’s cashier 11:57 PM - 19 Feb 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 17. Louis Virtel @louisvirtel The aisles at Trader Joe's are designed so that you have to get in the way of the same agitated single mother three times. 06:47 PM - 19 Oct 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 18. Daniel Spenser @DanSpenser Ya boy is back with more Trader Joe’s products that fit into “Eleanor Rigby.” 02:16 AM - 07 Jan 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 19. Andrew Lowe @andrewlowe My moms camped out for a new Trader Joe's store opening today like it was a new iPhone. Lesbian vegetarians are so crazy. 02:08 AM - 14 Oct 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 20. David DeWeil @daviddeweil If I ever did drugs I'd definitely do Trader Joe's peppermint joe joes 12:45 AM - 24 Dec 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 21. RainnWilson @rainnwilson Why can't our government be run with the same friendly efficiency as a Trader Joe's? 08:21 PM - 16 Feb 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 22. mamrie hart @mametown Just gasped from excitement while reading about new items in the Trader Joe's Fearless Flyer newsletter. Someone come check me for a pulse. 09:18 PM - 28 Sep 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 23. Gloria Fallon @GloriaFallon123 My local Trader Joe's has run out of coconut oil. I just hope this doesn't end in violence 12:02 AM - 30 Nov 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 24. Asia Leigh @asialbx Me after leaving my 36 reusable bags at home and the Trader Joe’s cashier asks if I brought one 01:01 AM - 09 Sep 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 25. Alanna Okun @alanna no matter how much or little you buy at trader joe's it always costs exactly $40 02:06 AM - 30 Apr 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 26. lohanthony @lohanthony why is trader joes like the spot for everything where is joe and how do i trade him my virginity i wanna f*ck him 02:05 AM - 09 Nov 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 27. eric curtin @dubstep4dads me: hey trader joes worker w/ ponytail: have u tried the vegan cheese. it tastes just like regular cheese 06:27 AM - 17 Feb 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 28. juliet 💛🌿 @youngblondemom The devil works hard but the Trader Joes florist works harder. 06:11 PM - 21 Jan 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 29. Simon Barrett @Simon_Barrett Used to love mosh pits for the aggressive human contact but now I just shop at Trader Joe's on a Sunday 07:26 PM - 18 Dec 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite