Demi Lovato Got Real About Returning To Performing After Her 2018 Overdose

    "I'm grateful that I'm sitting here today."

    Larry Fitzmaurice
    by Larry Fitzmaurice

    BuzzFeed Staff

    You know Demi Lovato.

    Demi Lovato at the People's Choice Awards in 2020
    Rich Polk / Getty Images

    The singer's candid docuseries Demi Lovato: Dancing With the Devil hits YouTube Originals this week — March 23, specifically. It's pretty revealing.

    View this video on YouTube
    YouTube Originals / YouTube / Via youtube.com

    In an interview with CBS Sunday Morning, Lovato reflected on what was going on in her mind when returning to performing after her overdose in 2018.

    View this video on YouTube
    CBS / YouTube / Via youtube.com

    Lovato returned to the stage in January of 2020 at the Grammys to perform "Anyone" — her first time doing so since recovering from her overdose.

    "I didn't know if I'd ever step foot on a stage again," she said. "When I woke up in the hospital, I was like, I don't know the full extent of the damage that's been done. I hadn't tried singing yet."

    Lovato also opened up about surviving the near-fatal overdose, which she has brain damage from and, at one point, had doctors saying she had "five to ten more minutes" to live.

    "If no one had found me, then I wouldn't be here," she said. "I'm grateful that I'm sitting here today, yeah."

    "For the first time in my life, [I] had to essentially die to wake up."

    During the interview, Lovato also spoke more on the recent revelation that she's not completely sober: "I think that the term that I best identify with is 'California Sober,'" she explained.

    "I really don't feel comfortable explaining the perimeters of my recovery with people," she continued, "because I don't want anyone to look at my perimeters of safety and think that's what works for them because it might not."

    "I am cautious to say that, just like I feel the complete abstinent method isn't like a one-size-fits-all solution for everybody. I don't think that this journey of moderation is a one-size-fits-all solution for everybody, too."

    We'll see what else Lovato discusses when Dancing With the Devil premieres later this week.