27 Common Questions About STIs, Answered By A Doctor

Getting STIs should have no shame attached to it! So let's answer some common questions and spread the word.

We recently asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to share any questions they may have had about STIs so that we could sit down with Dr. Jennifer Peña, Chief Medical Officer for Nurx, the largest digital practice for women’s health, to get some answers!

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1. “I have been diagnosed with HPV. The doctor said they will check again in a couple months to see if it has developed in stages. They mentioned it could lead to cervical cancer. Of course there is the slut-shaming aspect I am implementing on myself, but I am also immensely terrified. I feel like I deserve this for not making the right decisions. I don't quite know what to do. And the information is very unclear to me as well. What are my options and what might happen to me?” —Anonymous

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Dr. Jennifer Peña: HPV is nothing to be ashamed of! According to the Centers for Disease Control, “Nearly everyone will get HPV at some point in their lives.” There are many different types of HPV, and most do not lead to cancer. However, there are a few strains that put you at higher risk of cancers of the cervix, throat, anus, and penis. If you have one of these high-risk strains, all it means is that you will need additional monitoring by your medical provider. If you receive proper monitoring, then any changes to your cervix will be caught and cared for before they turn to cancer. You should also get the HPV vaccine if you have not already, because it will protect you from other strains of HPV and from getting HPV in other sites on your body (learn more about the HPV vaccine for adults). Please do not blame yourself! Talk to your doctor about appropriate monitoring to stay on top of your health.

2. “How common are STIs?” —Anonymous

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Dr. Jennifer Peña: Very common! According to the CDC, 1 in 5 people in America have a sexually transmitted infection, and about half of new STIs are acquired by people ages 15–24. Keep in mind that there is a broad range of STIs. Some, like herpes, are incurable but mostly harmless (if annoying). Others, like syphilis, are curable but dangerous if left untreated. Many are “silent,” meaning they have few or no symptoms. Don’t stress too much about STIs, but do understand your risk factors, get tested regularly, and take prevention measures such as using condoms and/or taking PrEP.

3. “Is there a difference between genital warts and HPV?” —Anonymous

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Dr. Jennifer Peña: Human papillomavirus, or "HPV," is the virus that causes genital warts. It can also cause skin warts and some forms of cancer. However, it's important to note that the strain that causes warts is different from the strains that put an individual at higher risk of cancer.

4. "So say you've been celibate by choice for 10 years; would you have noticed any STI symptoms by now if you had one? Are there some that just stay in your system without you feeling any changes at all?" —elisaday

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Dr. Jennifer Peña: Some STIs can remain quiet for many years — HPV, herpes, and HIV are three that can be symptom-free, and others have symptoms that you may not notice. That’s why it’s recommended that everybody who is sexually active get tested annually for HIV and other STIs including chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis, or more often if you have multiple partners. If you are celibate but haven’t been tested since your last sexual encounter, it’s a good idea to test for HIV and other STIs. HPV testing depends on your gender and risk factors, so you should talk to your doctor about whether HPV testing is right for you. It’s generally not recommended that you test for herpes unless you have an outbreak. Many people have herpes infections but do not experience outbreaks.  

5. “Can STIs be transmitted through saliva? For example: oral sex?” —Anonymous

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Dr. Jennifer Peña: There are some STIs that can be transmitted through saliva. These include herpes simplex virus, syphilis, cytomegalovirus, and human papillomavirus. Many STIs can be spread through oral sex. These include chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, herpes, HPV, and trichomoniasis.

6. “If I have multiple sexual partners, how often should I be tested?” —Anonymous

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Dr. Jennifer Peña: Screening and testing recommendations vary by type of STI and patient demographics. The CDC has an excellent reference page with testing recommendations depending on demographics and STI. On average, testing is recommended every 3–6 months for higher-risk individuals. 

7. “If I want to marry and have kids with someone but they have an STI from a previous relationship, do I have to resign myself to getting said STI too?" —Anonymous

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Dr. Jennifer Peña: Not necessarily. STIs are not always transmitted from an infected person to an uninfected person. The rate of transmission depends on several factors, including the type of STI and the type of sex acts, among other factors. Some STIs — including chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis — are curable with treatment. When somebody with HIV is on treatment and their HIV is undetectable, they cannot transmit it to a partner. When somebody with herpes takes antiviral medication daily, and avoids sex during any outbreaks, they are much less likely to transmit it. 

8. “My wife of 20 years was recently diagnosed with HPV. I know it's super common, and she says she must have gotten it before we were married, but is it really possible that she had it for two decades without either of us knowing it?” —Anonymous

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Dr. Jennifer Peña: Yes, it is absolutely possible that she has had HPV for decades without knowing it, and even possible that you gave it to her without knowing that you had it. HPV is nothing to be ashamed of — according to the Centers for Disease Control, “Nearly everyone will get HPV at some point in their lives.”

9. “How would a male know if he has HPV? And can a male be a carrier of yeast infections if a partner developed a new yeast infection after subsequent sexual relations with him?” —Anonymous

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Dr. Jennifer Peña:  Most men with HPV won’t have symptoms, and the infection usually clears on its own. In some cases, the infection doesn’t clear, and it can cause genital warts or some kinds of cancer (depending on the strain of HPV). At the moment, there is no routine HPV screening for men, but if you have concerns you should talk to your medical provider. Although it is possible for a male with a yeast infection to pass it on or get a yeast infection from a sex partner who also has an infection, it is unlikely.

10. “Someone I know claims he got gonorrhea from being naked in a hot tub less than a week before they started displaying physical symptoms (discharge). Can that really happen?” —Anonymous

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Dr. Jennifer Peña: This is extremely unlikely. The methods of transmission of gonorrhea are by having vaginal, anal, or oral sex with someone who has gonorrhea. It can also be transmitted from mother to child during childbirth.

11. “Is the only way to get tested for herpes is to have blood drawn?" —Anonymous

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Dr. Jennifer Peña: Herpes testing can be done with blood to check for antibodies, as well as with a swab from a blister or sore. If your medical provider has concerns about meningitis or encephalitis due to a herpes infection, they can also test spinal fluid. For herpes testing, it is generally considered best practice to test a blister using a swab, and there is no need for additional blood testing.

12. “How do STIs transfer from two people with vaginas/female sex organs?” —Anonymous

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Dr. Jennifer Peña: Transmission of STIs can take place via finger, oral, and toys from one vagina to the other. You should clean toys regularly and use a dental dam for oral sex (you can create a dental dam by cutting a condom down one side). If there is a concern for STI, we suggest STI testing on a regular basis.  Every 6–12 months or sooner if you know you were exposed to an STI or if you develop symptoms.

13. “Is it shameful to have an STI? Will my medical practitioner judge me for it?” —Anonymous

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Dr. Jennifer Peña: We are all sexual beings, and that is normal. Getting STIs should have no shame attached to it. It is not an indicator of anything bad about you. Humans like to connect physically, and that is good. To remain empowered, get tested and have discussions with your medical providers. Take charge of your sexual health, and then enjoy it!

14. "Can having herpes affect your immune system or have other health impacts?” —Anonymous

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Dr. Jennifer Peña: In general, herpes doesn’t have health impacts beyond outbreaks, which are annoying but don’t have long-term impacts. One exception to this is that pregnant people with genital herpes can pass herpes to their babies during childbirth, and that can pose risks to the infant. Anybody with genital herpes who is pregnant should be sure to talk to their doctor about this risk and how to manage it. Another exception is when herpes affects the brain or the layers of tissue that cover the brain, causing something called encephalitis or meningoencephalitis, and these are medical emergencies that are less common.

15. "Do all STIs affect fertility in women or sterility in men?" —kiiki

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Dr. Jennifer Peña: Certain STIs, including chlamydia and gonorrhea, can lead to pelvic inflammatory disease in women, which can cause scarring and infertility. These STIs are curable but often have no symptoms, so it’s important to get tested regularly so you can get treatment. STIs do not typically put men at risk of sterility.

16. “I've just been treated for an STI, and I'm glad I'm in the clear. I want to have (casual) sex again, but I'm petrified. What should I do to protect myself and others?” —Anonymous

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Dr. Jennifer Peña: It is great that you were tested and treated! To empower yourself moving forward, you should use condoms, get routine STI testing, and learn how to have discussions with your partners about STIs. Getting tested on a regular basis will prevent poor outcomes from an untreated STI and will provide peace of mind. For HIV prevention, the daily pill PrEP is recommended for men, women, and trans folks and is 99% effective at preventing HIV. Taking PrEP is a great way to take charge of your health so you can have sex without fear of getting HIV, although it won’t prevent contracting other STIs.

17. “I have had genital herpes for over 10 years…when I was first diagnosed, I very rarely had an outbreak, but now it seems to happen more frequently. Is there something I can do to make it less frequent without medication? Diet or exercise or natural remedy? Also, have doctors found any medication to cure it?” —Anonymous

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Dr. Jennifer Peña: Herpes outbreaks can be very distressing! But you don’t have to feel helpless and dismayed when an outbreak arises because the medication valacyclovir is a great tool that you can keep on hand for fighting symptoms. Even if you are already feeling the early signs of an outbreak (numbness, tingling, itching, irritation), you can start a course of valacyclovir right away to prevent or shorten the episode.

18. “Can STIs be transmitted through just skin contact (meaning skin to genital)? Or can they only be transmitted through actual genital to genital/mouth to genital contact?” —Anonymous

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Dr. Jennifer Peña: Certain STIs, including HPV and herpes, can be transmitted through skin-to-skin contact, yes.

19. "Do any STIs present the same symptoms as vaginal thrush?" —rosebudlola

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Dr. Jennifer Peña: There are subtle differences in the discharge created by "thrush" and STIs such as gonorrhea and chlamydia, which is why it’s important not to assume that any discharge is a simple yeast infection. If you suspect you have a yeast infection but OTC treatment does not work, then you should get screened for STIs. And if you haven’t had an STI check in a while, you should get one regardless, since STIs don’t always have symptoms.

20. “I'm a lesbian who grew up with absolutely nonexistent LQBTQ-inclusive sex ed, so I was wondering what steps I would need to take in order to practice safe sex with my partner(s) in the future. What kind of protection would I need if I was, say, giving or receiving oral?” —Anonymous

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Dr. Jennifer Peña: Some STIs can be passed through oral sex, as well as through toys, so people with vaginas should consider using dental dams for oral sex and condoms or other protective barriers on any shared toys. You should also clean toys regularly. You can easily turn a condom into a dental dam by using scissors to cut one side of the condom. We also have a great intro to LGBTQ+ sexual health on the Nurx blog if you're interested in learning more!

21. “Is it true you can get an STI from a Brazilian or bikini wax?” —Anonymous

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Dr. Jennifer Peña: You can not get an STI from the procedure of waxing, but at times the removal of pubic hair causes irritation to the skin and can create small open sores, and those sores can increase your risk of certain STIs, such as herpes.

22. “Are there any natural, doctor-approved ways of treating or relieving STIs? No prescriptions?” —Anonymous

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Dr. Jennifer Peña:  At this time, there are no approved alternative treatments to treat STIs.

23. "If you contracted and were treated for chlamydia, can it resist treatment and/or come back?" —Anonymous

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Dr. Jennifer Peña: At this time, there is no chlamydia resistance to treatment. It is important that you complete the prescribed treatment and not have unprotected intercourse until treatment is completed. It is also important that your partner get treated as well; otherwise you may become reinfected.

24. “If you’re diagnosed with a curable STI and properly treat it, is it necessary to get retested to make sure it’s gone?" —Anonymous

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Dr. Jennifer Peña: At this time, the only curable STI that should be retested is gonorrhea in your throat. Other STIs do not need repeat testing, unless your symptoms have not resolved, in which case you should make a follow-up appointment to see what’s going on.

25. "I was diagnosed with HSV-2 about a year and a half ago. I had a singular outbreak that lead to the diagnosis. I have been taking medication daily. I feel betrayed by my ex for lying to me about his status, and I feel ‘dirty,’ even though I know I shouldn’t. I have been trying to date, but the fear of having to tell someone and the fear of betrayal have been overwhelming. How do I tell someone? Do I have to tell someone if I’m on medication and using condoms? I don’t know how to navigate this, and I feel ashamed and alone.” — Anonymous

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Dr. Jennifer Peña: There is nothing shameful about herpes! Taking antivirals daily will dramatically reduce the chance that you pass herpes to a partner. A Nurx contributing sex educator has written great blog posts on the topic of having sex with herpes and making sexual disclosures if you want to read more!

26. “Is there an alternative to condoms to prevent STIs? Or is that the best route?” —Anonymous

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Dr. Jennifer Peña: For HIV prevention, the daily pill PrEP provides better protection than condoms. For other STIs, condoms are your best protection.

27. “I was recently diagnosed with a low-risk strain of HPV through a routine Pap smear at 47 years old. My husband and I are monogamous and were each other's first and (to my knowledge) only partners. My doctor says that this isn’t an indication of infidelity, and my husband was genuinely hurt by the question. Is it possible to get HPV through some other route than sex?” —Anonymous

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Dr. Jennifer Peña: Yes, it is absolutely possible to get HPV through physical contact other than sex, and it’s possible for one or both of you to have had HPV for decades without knowing it. HPV is nothing to be ashamed of — according to the Centers for Disease Control, “Nearly everyone will get HPV at some point in their lives.”

Did we miss anything that you may still be curious about? Feel free to let us know below, or let us know what other topics you want us to explore with experts!