Can We Guess What New Year's Resolution You Won't Be Keeping?
Roth-IRA, Sloth-IRA. Might as well be called that with how slowly your funds are growing. Why save for tomorrow, when you can overdraft for today?
Remember the saying, "A drink a day keeps the doctor away?" Yeah, me neither. Let's hope your liver does.
With the winters getting colder, a little more fat isn't sad, it's necessary. Something has to keep you warm at night besides your body pillow, right? Right?!
You usually average around 8 hours of sleep, but what's another snooze or seven? Your dreams can wait until 2018 anyway. And they're sweeter with your eyes shut.
Always. Keep. The. Receipts. Has Kim taught us nothing?! Nobody's scammin you come January!
Cuffing season doesn't end til coughing season so why rush? Being with someone who adores you for the rest of your life is overrated, said no bitter person ever.