Why Are People So Romantic About Baseballs?

A common phrase goes under the microscope.

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And then you'd take the baseball and set it on the walnut nightstand from Ikea, the Skůrgssss, hoping he/she'll find it when he/she comes in for bed and then, inspired by your romanticism, will read to you from Milan Kundera.

But you fall asleep before PLL is even over, and when you wake up the next morning, a copy of The Lovely Bones has knocked the baseball off the Skůrgssss.

You're pretty sure your girlfriend/boyfriend would leave you for Alice Sebold, given the chance. That time when he/she was reading Alice Sebold's book while you guys had sex — that's when you got the idea.

All the other kids are like, "omg, look at Kelvin, little Kelvy broke his orbital bone on a flying baseball and he's trying to cry but he can't because his face is all gnarly."

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*disappears in a puff of smoke*