1. Subhuman infidelity fetishists AshleyMadison.com want to give you $1 million to have sex with Tim Tebow, if you can prove it.
Let’s walk through this video frame-by-frame.
3. “Hit ‘LIKE’ if you think Tebow masterbates! [sic]” YOU CAN’T MAKE ME DO THAT.
4. Say hi to Angel Tim Tebow.
5. One of these things is not like the other…
6. Ever wondered what Tim Tebow’s v-card looked like? Why were you wondering about that?
8. Shaft-polishing jokes about crucifixes. The Taiwanese Animation people, everyone!
9. This is how sex works.
Subtitles here read: “Although it is nearly impossible for an attractive pro athlete to hold on to his virginity, it is equally impossible for a homeschooled child to lose it.”
10. Mama and Papa Tebow to the rescue.
11. And, for the clincher: Tim Tebow stiff-arming hordes of women as Cupid arrows rain down around him.
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