1. In the third inning of Friday’s Cubs-Diamondbacks game, Scott Hairston went yard for the QUADBOMB, my new nickname for grand slams. The QUADBOMB put Chicago up 6-2 in a game they’d ultimately win 7-2.
2. It also resulted in as close to a bacchanalia as you’ll get in the bleachers at Wrigley Field. First, half a dozen men go scrambling over each other to get the ball, with one dude’s shorts falling below the place his shorts should be.
3. And then: these two guys. Look at those moves. It’s like if they filmed a biopic on Beyonce in which she was played by a John Travolta on meth. MOVE THOSE HIPS.
- And no, people aren't drilling headphone jacks into their new iPhone 7's 📱❌