11 Reasons Why Christmas Is Actually The Scariest Holiday

Ho ho horror. Be warned, all of you Christmas scaredy-cats: Krampus is coming for you on December 4.

1. Step one: Kill a tree.

Are we not concerned about tree ghosts?

2. Step two: Prop up its dead body and decorate it.

Because, yeah, that seems like a good way to get tree ghosts.

3. Step three: String lights on tree and hope it doesn't catch fire.

If the tree ghosts wanted to get their revenge, this is how it would be done.

4. Santa: a magical spirit who breaks into your house and eats all of your cookies.

Santa = Satan.

5. And he has an army of imposters hanging out at shopping malls.

You'll never know who the real one is.

6. Snowmen: What did they do with all the snow-women and snowchildren? WHAT ARE THEY PLANNING FOR US?

You know what's behind those cold, soulless black eyes? Pure evil.

7. Every holiday drink tastes way too good with booze added to it.

And the scariest thing waiting for you on Christmas morning is the hangover.

8. And why do so many holiday activities involve sharp, bladed objects?

The holidays are like a slasher flick killer's dream come true.

9. Christmas carols sung by children are actually nightmare soundtracks.

Silent nope.

10. Here's a scary thought: If stockings are giant socks, where are the giant people who'd wear them?

Did we kill them? Or are they in hiding...plotting our demise.

11. The scariest thing of them all: looking at your bank account after Christmas.

THE HORROR.

All images from Thinkstock.

Don't let these things scare away your Christmas spirit. Because then something even scarier will come for you: Krampus. To see what happens to those who don't heed this warning, check out Krampus in theatres December 4!

youtube.com