7 Ways To Get Over Being Sick: A Guide By Ron Swanson

Pawnee Service Announcement. Spoilers for this week's episode.

1. Layer up.

Minimum, four, maximum, as many as you can fit.

2. Drink lots of fluids.

3. Add heat. Remove friends.

Really two steps, but much more effective when done together.

In case the above doesn't work and your well meaning but foolish nurse friend drags you to a hospital...

4. ...don't fill out any forms.

Or do and redact all the information. Leave no paper trail behind.

And if your well meaning but foolish nurse friend persists...

5. ...reply sparingly and again, ONLY verbally.

See further examples:

6. Try to bully your doctor into not touching you.

Fair warning, that probably won't work.

7. Obviously leave as soon as possible.

The second you get your prescription, should be the second you flee from this hell hole. Never stick around for additional tests, results, or questions.

8. And finally, eat a banana once in while.

Add burger to banana. It helps masks the banana flavor.