1.
By making it a surprise.
2.
Because you never know when a nosy aunt is going to tag along.
4.
By playing games the bride can NEVER EVER WIN.
5.
By launching a covert op to find out what the groom's penis looks like.
6.
And then trying to comfort the bride with gonad talk.
7.
By being a pregnant lesbian doctor offering free exams to a room full of models.
8.
By inviting this friend.
9.
By whipping out the software.
10.
By getting in a not fight with you not maid of honor about pajama sets.
11.
"It's awful hot in here, who wants to cool down with a double scoop of Alfredo?"
Bonus! How to ruin a bachelor party.
