2.
Look up old flames on at least three social media platforms.
3.
Dance weirdly and wildly and like no one is watching.
4.
Make up strange little songs to narrate your actions.
5.
Look up answers to weird questions on the internet.
6.
Practise raising one eyebrow in the mirror.
7.
Try to see what you look like when you wink at someone…
8.
Use your webcam to take photos of yourself pulling various faces.
9.
Have full-blown conversations with your pet.
10.
Refuse to shower or brush your hair. Revel in your newfound feral-ness.
11.
Make a plan for how you'll attack burglars if someone breaks in.
12.
Use this as a hairband:
13.
'Sniff Test' your clothes to see if they're passably clean.
14.
Sniff test your own armpits.
15.
Panic that if you close your eyes when showering that's when the burglars will come in.
16.
Set new standards for how 'clean' a plate has to be before you'll refuse to eat off of it.
17.
Take your laptop into the bathroom with you.
18.
Examine the tissue after blowing your nose.
19.
Talk to yourself. A lot.
20.
Put rubbish on the floor next to the bin, or play 'bin Jenga' and try to balance it on top.
21.
When in bed at night, making sure all limbs are covered with your duvet.
22.
Kick anything you drop under the couch / table / fridge…
23.
Leave the bathroom door open.
24.
Get naked. Stay naked.
25.
Try to clean the carpet with your pet.
