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25 Things You'll Only Do When No One’s Watching

Everyone has slightly weird habits that they only break out when they're totally alone. But they should be celebrated, not hidden away. (OK, maybe not ALL of them…) However you spend your spare time, have a break, have a KITKAT.

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1. Eat in the bath.

Pro tip: Chicken Cottage boxes float.
thinkstockphotos.co.uk / Via thinkstockphotos.co.uk

Pro tip: Chicken Cottage boxes float.

2. Look up old flames on at least three social media platforms.

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Consider signing up for LinkedIn to make it four, but then realise that they can see who looked at their profile, so abort mission.

3. Dance weirdly and wildly and like no one is watching.

4. Make up strange little songs to narrate your actions.

"I'm siinngggiinngg to my eggies, because I am sooo loonely. Now I'm gonna add some cheese…"
thinkstockphotos.co.uk / Via thinkstockphotos.co.uk

"I'm siinngggiinngg to my eggies, because I am sooo loonely. Now I'm gonna add some cheese…"

5. Look up answers to weird questions on the internet.

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6. Practise raising one eyebrow in the mirror.

7. Try to see what you look like when you wink at someone…

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…and become so horrified by the result that you never attempt it again.

8. Use your webcam to take photos of yourself pulling various faces.

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Scroll through said selfie graveyard because you realise that you've accidentally documented every time you've been left alone in the house for the last three years.

9. Have full-blown conversations with your pet.

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Extra points if they answer back.

10. Refuse to shower or brush your hair. Revel in your newfound feral-ness.

Warner Bros. Television / Via terminalelmonamour.tumblr.com

11. Make a plan for how you'll attack burglars if someone breaks in.

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Phone and spoon should do it…

12. Use this as a hairband:

What? They're clean!
thinkstockphotos.co.uk / Via thinkstockphotos.co.uk

What? They're clean!

13. 'Sniff Test' your clothes to see if they're passably clean.

14. Sniff test your own armpits.

Admit you do this.

15. Panic that if you close your eyes when showering that's when the burglars will come in.

If you get shampoo in your eye, you're basically dead.
thinkstockphotos.co.uk / Via thinkstockphotos.co.uk

If you get shampoo in your eye, you're basically dead.

16. Set new standards for how 'clean' a plate has to be before you'll refuse to eat off of it.

cheezburger.com / Via cheezburger.com

*wipes with T-shirt*

17. Take your laptop into the bathroom with you.

If anyone asks, you weren't doing anything grosser than watching Netflix in the bath.
thinkstockphotos.co.uk / Via thinkstockphotos.co.uk

If anyone asks, you weren't doing anything grosser than watching Netflix in the bath.

18. Examine the tissue after blowing your nose.

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19. Talk to yourself. A lot.

20. Put rubbish on the floor next to the bin, or play 'bin Jenga' and try to balance it on top.

It's fine, if no one catches you...
thinkstockphotos.co.uk / Via thinkstockphotos.co.uk

It's fine, if no one catches you...

21. When in bed at night, making sure all limbs are covered with your duvet.

imgur.com / Via imgur.com

Because, monsters.

22. Kick anything you drop under the couch / table / fridge…

imgur.com / Via imgur.com

…because you're too lazy to pick it up.

23. Leave the bathroom door open.

24. Get naked. Stay naked.

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No pants ever.

25. Try to clean the carpet with your pet.

How do you enjoy those breaks when no-one’s watching? Share yours with #MyBreak.

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