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Which El Tabler Are You?

find out which spicy/sweet/sensual el tabler best reflects you!

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  1. what's your dream job?

    president? supermodel? el tabler? veterinarian?

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    the ira glass of my generation
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    social justice realizer
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    freelance journalist
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    doctor lawyer in space!!!!
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    journalist at the new york times
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    broadway singer
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    child protective services
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    sci-fi movie writer
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    curator at a latin american art museum
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    reiki shrink
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    OB/GYN by day; owner and barista of coffee shop/bookstore called "Beans & Books" by night
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    shitty poetry writer extraordinaire
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    art critic slash theorist
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    kindergarten teacher by day, bartender by night
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    cabaret singer
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    smol musician or working for NPR's tinydesk concerts
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    national geographic photographer
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    dirty lesbian revolutionary living in the woods
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    playwright/director
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    professional soundtrack maker or plant mom
  2. name a person, dead or alive, real or fictional, who you would want to have dinner with

    besides our famed el table alumna madeleine albright obvi...

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    audre lorde
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    erik satie (wild french composer)
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    fashionable indonesian journalist lee lin chin
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    my late relatives
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    julia child
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    harrison "brownie" brown
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    mac demarco
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    a famous ancient chinese poet, li bai
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    joe "bae"-din, our glorious vice president
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    gilda radner/gilda rastegar
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    kera washington
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    my dad
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    sylvia plath
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    olivia wilde - i love her i wanna be her
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    nina simone
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    audre lorde!!
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    michelle obama
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    jesus
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    rajiv joseph
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    ezra miller
  3. what is your favorite el table sandwich or snack?

    no, we don't have any gluten-free bread :(

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    meat burrito!!!!
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    hot cheetos
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    bread end with fig spread
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    the green monstah
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    toast with brie
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    tiny cup of walnuts
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    chocolate chip scone
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    green monstah with bacon and no goat cheese
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    toast with hummus and valentina hot sauce
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    cheese soup
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    brie, bacon, and fig jam on sourdough
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    anything that I can add valentina hot sauce to
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    anything served in the "new daddy" mug
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    white chocolate chip cookie, heated up
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    croissant with jam
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    the darjeeling!
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    potato chips with valentina
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    green monstah with bacon
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    fig jam with swiss on a croissant
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    spicy mango lollipops
  4. where can you be found on campus?

    when you're not in el table (or maybe if you are!)

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    somewhere near pogo (my dog)
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    jewett and el table
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    gym/dance studios
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    in the philosophy department
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    lake waban benches
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    mail services to check my mailbox
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    crying about well written gay representation, in my room
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    up in the bell tower
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    jewett practice room #140 (MY room and everyone knows it)
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    in bed with an audiobook
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    just el table
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    really i only go to el table
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    notorious tower court steps
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    stone-d or leaky beaker
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    my room
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    greenhouse - best journaling spot
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    stone d
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    in my favorite tree in the arboretum
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    honestly who knows every day is a journey and i am a wanderer
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    SCOOP!
  5. what is your beverage of choice?

    tells us a drink that calms your mind body and soul

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    coffee
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    tea that I forgot about on the counter and is now lukewarm and/ or over-steeped
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    lemon ginger kombucha
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    water
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    cold brew coffee
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    cranberry juice me up
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    peach runa
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    water?
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    lemur tea (cinnamon vanilla earl grey)
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    vodka and tonic
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    blue moon beer
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    tea
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    witchy herbal elixer
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    red wine
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    hot tea, preferably green
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    virgin mimosa (get it on planes if you're a diva like me)
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    hazelnut coffee
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    black coffee
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    nesquik strawberry milk
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    black coffee that you make and then forget to drink until 2 hours later
  6. what is your patronus?

    technically an el tabler is an animal just fyi lil fun fact there

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    a lazy lazy tiger
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    golden retriever (? i think?)
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    cat
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    black stallion
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    stoat
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    a weasel
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    i don't understand the question and i refuse to answer it
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    a blue jay
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    mallard duck
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    ostrich
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    i never understood harry potter as much as my friends
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    i have always lied about my harry potter knowledge and now everyone is going to know it
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    loon
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    koala
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    meerkat
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    puppy - love to love and be loved
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    my cat, eva (sleepy, cuddly, and fierce when need be)
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    wolf
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    pig
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    sugar glider
  7. if you were a vegetable what would you be?

    this is probably the most important question, tbh

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    kale
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    bok choy
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    asparagus
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    tomato (not a vegetable but it speaks to me)
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    bok choy?
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    chives
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    a carrot
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    eggplant
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    cabbage
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    bell pepper
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    ginger and or butternut squash
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    eggplant?
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    eggplant!
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    eggplant??
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    sweet potato
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    okra
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    cucumber
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    .. does an avocado count? If not, cauliflower...?
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    orange bell pepper
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    I wouldn't be a vegetable, I'd be a nectarine
  8. what's your sing-in-the-shower song?

    Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF
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    alive by kehlani
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    higher by rihanna
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    you're not the one by sky ferreira
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    i will sing anything!
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    too scared of jamming out too hard and slipping/falling in the shower to engage in this practice
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    too bad at singing
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    queen of the night aria
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    no singing, but shuffling to the harsh, tasty beats of britney spears
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    that song at the end of night at the museum (september)
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    can't take my eyes off of you
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    respect
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    como lo hacia yo by ken-y
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    ms. jackson by outkast
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    sunday morning by maroon 5
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    chief don't run by jidenna
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    listen from dreamgirls
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    la bicicleta by carlos vives ft. shakira
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    hide and seek, likely while sobbing
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    you and i by ingrid michaelson
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    the entire soundtrack from RENT
  9. what's your romantic deal breaker?

    tell us what trait makes you sing "sorry" by beyonce in your head as you walk away

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    untrimmed/gritty nails!!! ack
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    someone who's not woke
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    eats a lot of yogurt (i hate the smell)
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    a cis-man; especially of the white variety
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    chewing loudly
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    republican!!!
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    cis white men? goodbye
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    crazy conservative
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    the belief that put-down sarcasm and constant mockery is a strong personality
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    not into my cat
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    being a bad friend
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    being a cisman
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    puts ketchup on everything
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    not having manners like saying thank you or just common decency
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    if you're not up for intelligent conversation don't bother
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    idk pls just be kind and good
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    not tagging me in cute kitten videos
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    dishonesty and dislike of dogs (or any animal)
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    people who don't like pineapple on their pizza
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    "i listen to everything except country"
  10. it's pub night - what are you up to?

    if someone is dancing to bailando it's either pub night or 10:43am on a tuesday and you're in el table

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    waiting in the hoop for ramen and wearing a "going out" sports bra
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    finishing my pset due on friday
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    saying i’m not going to leave my room and then inevitably end up leaving my room
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    avoiding the pub at all costs. no fight-or-flight reactions for me tonight, no sir
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    pretending to do homework in the hoop
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    sleeping?
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    really tired and probably studying but wishing I was pre-gaming while texting everyone at the pre-game instead of actually studying.
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    listening to leavin by jesse mccartney on repeat, though he's kind of ugly
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    studying in the library
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    drinking enough to dance
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    hosting a pregame
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    AT PUB NIGHT
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    notorious tower court steps
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    if not already at the pub with friends, probs studying or watching netflix with... a beer
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    sleeping!
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    snacking in de hoop!
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    in my room starting/finishing work i have due friday
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    dancing it up and/or having a deep/sad conversation with someone on the steps outside hoop
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    circling the dance floor to say hi to friends, crack a few ~wild~ dance moves, and be in bed by midnight
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    bundling up for the arctic trek to west side
  11. complete this sentence: i missed my assignment deadline because...

    because you had to pay your tab? don't say because you were waiting for your sandwich.... srsly

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    because i spilled lemon thai on my final draft
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    because i procrastinate
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    because i was watching jane the virgin/watching oddly satisfying videos on my instagram discover page
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    because i was too stressed out to start
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    i don't miss assignment deadlines
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    i also don't miss assignment deadlines
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    because i was fighting my urges and winning the battle again, quietly, sequestering my dissociating body where I can keep it warm and breathing until I return to pilot my limbs towards passable academic standards.
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    because hot cheeto dust clogged my computer keyboard
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    because gay
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    because of who i am as a person
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    because i was having a soul to soul
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    because i stayed up talking to my friends all night and i value my sleep
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    because planet earth released a new season
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    because i stayed up all night finishing it but fell asleep
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    (insert relevant existential crisis)
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    because i needed to nourish my soul
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    because i thought i could finish but i'm overcommitted and i was lying to myself
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    because cuddling
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    because of who i am as a person pt. 2
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    because there was a rly nice sunset!!
  12. what's your star sign?

    are we compatible? jk everyone should be compatible with el table

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    taurus rising leo - stubbornly proud about it
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    what's a star sign? horoscope? If so gemini
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    capricorn, aries rising, virgo moon
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    aries
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    leo!
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    aries?
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    libra/virgo cusp
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    aries, virgo rising
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    sagittarius
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    MF PISCES
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    aquarius
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    aquarius?
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    leo
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    scorpio (side note: embarrassed about this but also curious if im a true scorpio)
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    pisces (twin fishes for the win)
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    gemini
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    taurus sun/aquarius moon AFFF
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    arieeees
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    sagittarius?
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    chill virgo
  13. your superlative in high school was ...

    our collective superlative was best sandwich

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    most simultaneously overachieving and underachieving
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    (huh?)
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    probably quirkiest or something dumb like that
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    best twitter (i hate myself)
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    biggest language nerd
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    most likely to be caught studying
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    my senior quote was "i think i'm in love with myself?"
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    most likely to lead lmao
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    most likely to ditch stem for liberal arts without looking back
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    friendliest, loudest
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    most likely to attend a women's college
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    most likely to have female admirers
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    most likely brooding over art
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    most likely to be found eating in the library
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    most likely to be a d.c. madam
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    i didn't get one!
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    friendliest, most likely to be president
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    most likely to be president (lolz)
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    in middle school i made everyone call me the class clown
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    most unique style
  14. el table is out of avocado, what do you do?

    we might be out of them but they're always in our hearts

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    try to suggest artichoke tapenade but accidentally suggest olive tapenade
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    cry, sit in silence, look into nothingness
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    ask if i can replace it with a spread? (ask whichever senior I’m working with what I should do lol)
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    ask Eva what to do
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    "hello, neighbor! have you heard the good word? we have artichoke tapenade. let me tell you more--"