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Which El Tabler Are You?

find out which spicy/sweet/sensual el tabler best reflects you!

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  1. what's your dream job?

    president? supermodel? el tabler? veterinarian?

    president? supermodel? el tabler? veterinarian?

    the ira glass of my generation
    social justice realizer
    freelance journalist
    doctor lawyer in space!!!!
    journalist at the new york times
    broadway singer
    child protective services
    sci-fi movie writer
    curator at a latin american art museum
    reiki shrink
    OB/GYN by day; owner and barista of coffee shop/bookstore called "Beans & Books" by night
    shitty poetry writer extraordinaire
    art critic slash theorist
    kindergarten teacher by day, bartender by night
    cabaret singer
    smol musician or working for NPR's tinydesk concerts
    national geographic photographer
    dirty lesbian revolutionary living in the woods
    playwright/director
    professional soundtrack maker or plant mom
  2. name a person, dead or alive, real or fictional, who you would want to have dinner with

    besides our famed el table alumna madeleine albright obvi...

    besides our famed el table alumna madeleine albright obvi...

    audre lorde
    erik satie (wild french composer)
    fashionable indonesian journalist lee lin chin
    my late relatives
    julia child
    harrison "brownie" brown
    mac demarco
    a famous ancient chinese poet, li bai
    joe "bae"-din, our glorious vice president
    gilda radner/gilda rastegar
    kera washington
    my dad
    sylvia plath
    olivia wilde - i love her i wanna be her
    nina simone
    audre lorde!!
    michelle obama
    jesus
    rajiv joseph
    ezra miller
  3. what is your favorite el table sandwich or snack?

    no, we don't have any gluten-free bread :(

    no, we don't have any gluten-free bread :(

    meat burrito!!!!
    hot cheetos
    bread end with fig spread
    the green monstah
    toast with brie
    tiny cup of walnuts
    chocolate chip scone
    green monstah with bacon and no goat cheese
    toast with hummus and valentina hot sauce
    cheese soup
    brie, bacon, and fig jam on sourdough
    anything that I can add valentina hot sauce to
    anything served in the "new daddy" mug
    white chocolate chip cookie, heated up
    croissant with jam
    the darjeeling!
    potato chips with valentina
    green monstah with bacon
    fig jam with swiss on a croissant
    spicy mango lollipops
  4. where can you be found on campus?

    when you're not in el table (or maybe if you are!)

    when you're not in el table (or maybe if you are!)

    somewhere near pogo (my dog)
    jewett and el table
    gym/dance studios
    in the philosophy department
    lake waban benches
    mail services to check my mailbox
    crying about well written gay representation, in my room
    up in the bell tower
    jewett practice room #140 (MY room and everyone knows it)
    in bed with an audiobook
    just el table
    really i only go to el table
    notorious tower court steps
    stone-d or leaky beaker
    my room
    greenhouse - best journaling spot
    stone d
    in my favorite tree in the arboretum
    honestly who knows every day is a journey and i am a wanderer
    SCOOP!
  5. what is your beverage of choice?

    tells us a drink that calms your mind body and soul

    tells us a drink that calms your mind body and soul

    coffee
    tea that I forgot about on the counter and is now lukewarm and/ or over-steeped
    lemon ginger kombucha
    water
    cold brew coffee
    cranberry juice me up
    peach runa
    water?
    lemur tea (cinnamon vanilla earl grey)
    vodka and tonic
    blue moon beer
    tea
    witchy herbal elixer
    red wine
    hot tea, preferably green
    virgin mimosa (get it on planes if you're a diva like me)
    hazelnut coffee
    black coffee
    nesquik strawberry milk
    black coffee that you make and then forget to drink until 2 hours later
  6. what is your patronus?

    technically an el tabler is an animal just fyi lil fun fact there

    technically an el tabler is an animal just fyi lil fun fact there

    a lazy lazy tiger
    golden retriever (? i think?)
    cat
    black stallion
    stoat
    a weasel
    i don't understand the question and i refuse to answer it
    a blue jay
    mallard duck
    ostrich
    i never understood harry potter as much as my friends
    i have always lied about my harry potter knowledge and now everyone is going to know it
    loon
    koala
    meerkat
    puppy - love to love and be loved
    my cat, eva (sleepy, cuddly, and fierce when need be)
    wolf
    pig
    sugar glider
  7. if you were a vegetable what would you be?

    this is probably the most important question, tbh

    this is probably the most important question, tbh

    kale
    bok choy
    asparagus
    tomato (not a vegetable but it speaks to me)
    bok choy?
    chives
    a carrot
    eggplant
    cabbage
    bell pepper
    ginger and or butternut squash
    eggplant?
    eggplant!
    eggplant??
    sweet potato
    okra
    cucumber
    .. does an avocado count? If not, cauliflower...?
    orange bell pepper
    I wouldn't be a vegetable, I'd be a nectarine
  8. what's your sing-in-the-shower song?

    Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF
    alive by kehlani
    higher by rihanna
    you're not the one by sky ferreira
    i will sing anything!
    too scared of jamming out too hard and slipping/falling in the shower to engage in this practice
    too bad at singing
    queen of the night aria
    no singing, but shuffling to the harsh, tasty beats of britney spears
    that song at the end of night at the museum (september)
    can't take my eyes off of you
    respect
    como lo hacia yo by ken-y
    ms. jackson by outkast
    sunday morning by maroon 5
    chief don't run by jidenna
    listen from dreamgirls
    la bicicleta by carlos vives ft. shakira
    hide and seek, likely while sobbing
    you and i by ingrid michaelson
    the entire soundtrack from RENT
  9. what's your romantic deal breaker?

    tell us what trait makes you sing "sorry" by beyonce in your head as you walk away

    tell us what trait makes you sing "sorry" by beyonce in your head as you walk away

    untrimmed/gritty nails!!! ack
    someone who's not woke
    eats a lot of yogurt (i hate the smell)
    a cis-man; especially of the white variety
    chewing loudly
    republican!!!
    cis white men? goodbye
    crazy conservative
    the belief that put-down sarcasm and constant mockery is a strong personality
    not into my cat
    being a bad friend
    being a cisman
    puts ketchup on everything
    not having manners like saying thank you or just common decency
    if you're not up for intelligent conversation don't bother
    idk pls just be kind and good
    not tagging me in cute kitten videos
    dishonesty and dislike of dogs (or any animal)
    people who don't like pineapple on their pizza
    "i listen to everything except country"
  10. it's pub night - what are you up to?

    if someone is dancing to bailando it's either pub night or 10:43am on a tuesday and you're in el table

    if someone is dancing to bailando it's either pub night or 10:43am on a tuesday and you're in el table

    waiting in the hoop for ramen and wearing a "going out" sports bra
    finishing my pset due on friday
    saying i’m not going to leave my room and then inevitably end up leaving my room
    avoiding the pub at all costs. no fight-or-flight reactions for me tonight, no sir
    pretending to do homework in the hoop
    sleeping?
    really tired and probably studying but wishing I was pre-gaming while texting everyone at the pre-game instead of actually studying.
    listening to leavin by jesse mccartney on repeat, though he's kind of ugly
    studying in the library
    drinking enough to dance
    hosting a pregame
    AT PUB NIGHT
    notorious tower court steps
    if not already at the pub with friends, probs studying or watching netflix with... a beer
    sleeping!
    snacking in de hoop!
    in my room starting/finishing work i have due friday
    dancing it up and/or having a deep/sad conversation with someone on the steps outside hoop
    circling the dance floor to say hi to friends, crack a few ~wild~ dance moves, and be in bed by midnight
    bundling up for the arctic trek to west side
  11. complete this sentence: i missed my assignment deadline because...

    because you had to pay your tab? don't say because you were waiting for your sandwich.... srsly

    because you had to pay your tab? don't say because you were waiting for your sandwich.... srsly

    because i spilled lemon thai on my final draft
    because i procrastinate
    because i was watching jane the virgin/watching oddly satisfying videos on my instagram discover page
    because i was too stressed out to start
    i don't miss assignment deadlines
    i also don't miss assignment deadlines
    because i was fighting my urges and winning the battle again, quietly, sequestering my dissociating body where I can keep it warm and breathing until I return to pilot my limbs towards passable academic standards.
    because hot cheeto dust clogged my computer keyboard
    because gay
    because of who i am as a person
    because i was having a soul to soul
    because i stayed up talking to my friends all night and i value my sleep
    because planet earth released a new season
    because i stayed up all night finishing it but fell asleep
    (insert relevant existential crisis)
    because i needed to nourish my soul
    because i thought i could finish but i'm overcommitted and i was lying to myself
    because cuddling
    because of who i am as a person pt. 2
    because there was a rly nice sunset!!
  12. what's your star sign?

    are we compatible? jk everyone should be compatible with el table

    are we compatible? jk everyone should be compatible with el table

    taurus rising leo - stubbornly proud about it
    what's a star sign? horoscope? If so gemini
    capricorn, aries rising, virgo moon
    aries
    leo!
    aries?
    libra/virgo cusp
    aries, virgo rising
    sagittarius
    MF PISCES
    aquarius
    aquarius?
    leo
    scorpio (side note: embarrassed about this but also curious if im a true scorpio)
    pisces (twin fishes for the win)
    gemini
    taurus sun/aquarius moon AFFF
    arieeees
    sagittarius?
    chill virgo
  13. your superlative in high school was ...

    our collective superlative was best sandwich

    our collective superlative was best sandwich

    most simultaneously overachieving and underachieving
    (huh?)
    probably quirkiest or something dumb like that
    best twitter (i hate myself)
    biggest language nerd
    most likely to be caught studying
    my senior quote was "i think i'm in love with myself?"
    most likely to lead lmao
    most likely to ditch stem for liberal arts without looking back
    friendliest, loudest
    most likely to attend a women's college
    most likely to have female admirers
    most likely brooding over art
    most likely to be found eating in the library
    most likely to be a d.c. madam
    i didn't get one!
    friendliest, most likely to be president
    most likely to be president (lolz)
    in middle school i made everyone call me the class clown
    most unique style
  14. el table is out of avocado, what do you do?

    we might be out of them but they're always in our hearts

    we might be out of them but they're always in our hearts

    try to suggest artichoke tapenade but accidentally suggest olive tapenade
    cry, sit in silence, look into nothingness
    ask if i can replace it with a spread? (ask whichever senior I’m working with what I should do lol)
    ask Eva what to do
    "hello, neighbor! have you heard the good word? we have artichoke tapenade. let me tell you more--"
    apologize for having eaten it
    would u like that replaced with another $1 item
    i cry
    color cream cheese with pesto and hope no one catches me
    alert the church elders
    cry?
    smile, apologize, and become new friends with the customer, promising to text them as soon as avocados are back in stock
    steal some out of bhavana's fridge
    internally scream while informing customers
    smile and inform them that a. tap. is a superior spread so really this is a cause worth rejoicing
    say "UH oh"
    feel dead inside because i hate letting customers down
    sit down and gently hold the customer, while sobbing quietly along with them, and assuring them that you will get through this together, and that you're going food shopping this weekend
    grow an avocado in the back closet REAL quick
    draw them a tiny avo to make them feel better *

Which El Tabler Are You?

You got: Lexie

You're Phoebe Buffay! Put on your best wig and have a GIRL'S NIGHT!!

Lexie
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You got: Bhavana

You got Bhav! You love the humans in your life more than anything and are either incessantly telling them or worrying that you're overwhelming them. You run on coffee, Spanish music, soul to souls, and a little heartbreak. On your best days, you smell like lavender. You love to plan but also love spontaneity, so all your plans are written in pencil until they're actually completed (at which point you copy them over in a 0.38 pt Muji Pen). You have a lot of emotions but its okay because your name literally means "strong emotions." You love your friends' birthdays more than anything but hate your own. Find people who will listen to your stories, be spontaneous with you, and value your insane heart and then hold onto them tight- you won't be sorry you did.

Bhavana
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You got: Kuku

You are comfort over style, but sometimes your comfort is stylish. You can be found in El Table writing poems about regressions on paper towels and/or crying about graduation. You LOVE your friends, but you’d never let them know that. You have a soft spot for adventure, chosen family, and girls with pretty laughter. You rarely panic, even when you probably should. You usually have an “I have no idea what’s going on” look on your face, and it’s mostly correct.

Kuku
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You got: Xi Xi

You're fucking weird. I don't know how you got here. You're probably the most random person in all your friend groups. Nobody knows why you're their friends but they love you. You fit in everywhere, but you really fit in nowhere. Ok that sounds a little depressing, but aren't you also a little proud of how weird you are? Like no one is you, you know? Just you are you. Keep doing you. I'm here for you.

Xi Xi
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You got: Kelsey

You got Kelsey! You scored 80% neurotic on a personality test, and your friends agreed with the results a little too quickly. When you're not in El in the morning, it's because you've made your own pour over coffee in your room and are scrolling through your instagram, planning ur next post. You are less known for your love of funk music that can get you dancing no matter what mood your in. Your YouTube top suggested videos are soft river sounds and cute puppy videos. You simply could not ask for more in life.

Kelsey
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You got: Vanessa

Your favorite things in the world are good music, overpriced food, and rare moments of spiritual enlightenment. When you're not frantically researching some aspect of East Asian culture for an overdue paper, you can be found reading manga or watching a poorly acted Korean drama. You like to pretend you're a stone cold ice queen who lacks empathy but in reality you value every human interaction. Good luck, you'll need it......

Vanessa
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You got: Anju

you love to feel things and make things. you are continually inspired by your wellesley sibs and will often request they repeat themselves so you can record their sweet voices for a podcast you will one day make or to sample in a song. you love lake walks, soul to souls, edamame, and whimsical trips into the city. you strive to learn + grow + create always! thanks for being a buddy everyone.

Anju
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You got: Jeff

You're 30 percent survival-based social performance, 15 percent flinch, 5 percent flinch suppression, and 50 percent earnest about the few things that inspire passion in your waking life! If you were a sandwich ingredient, you'd be the delicious food particle that fell on the floor that you ate without telling anyone, at no cost. When not eagerly picking up extra shifts at El Table, you can be found jogging around the lake or pumping leg iron at the gym. Your continued existence means a lot to me and if you're reading this, I love you. I promise, I love you.

Jeff
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You got: Eva

Your low-key addiction to scratch off lottery tickets started when you turned 18. You may come off as quiet but smolder from within. You can be found sprawled out in Tower courtyard with mason jars filled with mysterious herbal drinks. Sometimes you start thinking about artificial intelligence and get really scared. If you don't have any tattoos already...don't worry you will.

Eva
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You got: Sabina

You are Sabina and are probably listening to your favorite podcast (538 elections) or the same Beirut song on repeat without headphones. You love debating and thermophilic eubacteria and are probably about to go practice piano. You're prone to orchestrate elaborate snapchat bits, read Shakespeare critically, or mess up orders at El.

Sabina
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You got: Angela

You're a sports geek (only) at heart who has a hard time breaking habits whether they are binge-watching tv shows or eating sweets (you'll never stop eating. Embrace it). You're a loyal friend who values honesty and warm interactions. While you're too self-conscious at times to follow your passions and desires, you're a meticulous and careful planner who takes baby steps every day! When you're not in Stone D or the science center, you're most likely in El or sleeping cuz you can't function without 8 hours of sleep. You're not the one to be super expressive, but you secretly enjoy being pampered with hugs and other forms of affection so here's some lovin for ya <3<3<3

Angela
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You got: Genae

You got Genae! When not eating toasted bread ends at El Table, you can be found ensconced in the philosophy department or behind the Clapp Desk. You're addicted to Spotify, flannels, and the New York Times Opinions Section, and you've come to terms with it. You also love pictures of goats in sweaters. A lot. You trust slowly, love easily, and are prone to getting more upset when people hurt your too-good-for-this-world friends than when misfortune happens upon yourself. Though you pretend to be obsessed with Aristotle, the kind souls in your life mean more to you than any old Greek man ever could. You're probably in a bookstore right now wondering if you should spend your salary on yet another book, and truth is you probably should.

Genae
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You got: Alexa

You are over-committed but secretly love it because it doesn't give you a lot of time to feel sad. You love Miami, your essential oil diffuser, and reality television. You talk about how lactose intolerant you are as you order your second dominos of the week. You can be found lounging around El or crying in the art library. You once had a tumblr dedicated to Devendra banhart and that says a lot about you.

Alexa
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You got: Hershel

You got Hershel! You are are trans, an ENTJ, and don't like spending time at home. You have the cutest spider plant named Mercy and you treated yourself to a lot of room decor at the beginning of the year. (Wasn't really your fault, you had NONE). You love telling your friends you love them, because you mean it! Your favorite meme is Down with Cis. During the month of November, when you weren't at El, you were writing a story for NaNoWriMo. You can be my wingperson anytime. See you in space, partner.

Hershel
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You got: Ichen

You are ichen: lover of journal-writing, absurdist theater, and Doritos. You are on the quieter side but aren't afraid to tear up the dance floor for Lip Sync. On the rare occasion that you aren't in El Table drinking Mind, Body and Soul and/or having spontaneous dance parties, you can be found in Pom dining hall (especially on Nacho Saturday) or at your nicely decorated Clapp thesis carrel.

Ichen
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You got: Kiersten

You're 40 percent despair, 10 percent deep musings, and 50 percent memes about dogs. If you were a character from Friends, you'd be Ross. You've learned to embrace it. When not physically in El Table (rare) you can be found in Clapp stress-writing a paper the day it's due, completing a triathlon, or gently crying into a book of Louise Gluck's poetry.

Kiersten
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You got: Kanika

you're usually in a million places at once but you really love everyone a lot so you don't mind. you usually allot yourself one minute of walking time no matter where you're going. you just started drinking coffee to seem more artistic, but you're not sure if it worked, and now you're addicted. nice.

Kanika
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You got: Marley

You got Marley! Like Marley, you probably spend much of your time staring at a screen, trying to write witty Buzzfeed bios until eventually realizing you're not funny. People are your passion, and so you're involved in every slightly social club and job on campus, repeatedly ignoring your school work and life responsibilities, but feeling alarmingly not stressed about it. Your favorite past times include climbing trees, talking about Oregon, and insisting that you never cry while weeping hysterically over a picture of a cat. You can be found living in El Table, or potentially wandering aimlessly around campus looking for friends. If this is you, don't worry, you will run into a friend soon, because at the end of the day all roads will lead back to El Table <3

Marley
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You got: Diana

You got... Diana! You have a heart of gold, and you are everyone's hype-woman. You can be found working that grill at El Table or you may be spotted in Stone D living room -- that's it, you don't go anywhere else. Trying to convince you that the Chicago Bulls aren't the best team of all time or that hot cheetos are just okay is where your sun sign really comes to shine: it's like talking to a brick wall. You try to bring light into everyone's day and are responsible for all of your friends' most liked Facebook pictures (you are also most likely to "like/love" all of your friend fb pics) If you went through this message without thinking about your cats once, you may have gotten the wrong result.

Diana
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You got: Mer

You got Mer! A member of *2* sustainable coops, your true loyalty is to composting. You believe that making toast is an art, writing papers is a social construct, and Soulja Boy is underrated. A tender bean with a weakness for well-curated playlists, you love your famELy from the bottom of your soft lil heart <3

Mer
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