17 Photos That Show Exactlyyyy Why People Are Choosing To Be Child-Free (And Why Parents Deserve A Vacation)

    No one needs to justify why they don't want kids...but these pictures are totally justification.

    All of my friends have kids. I've been to more Bluey, Blippi, and whoever the hell else-y themed birthday parties than I can count. As much as I love being an aunt who gets to celebrate all the fun moments — I also love leaving those events and going home to sweet, sweet silence.

    Woman relaxing in a bubble bath with cucumber slices on her eyes

    Whenever I start to ponder my choice of being child-free, I'll get a 3 a.m. text from a mom friend that says something like, "My kid just had a diarrhea explosion all over the Christmas tree," and I think, "Definitely not for me!" Choosing to be child-free doesn't mean I hate kids, but I definitely lack even a sliver of the patience it takes to thoughtfully handle the chaos that comes with having them.

    Here are 18 pictures that show exactlyyy what I mean:

    1. Kids approach things that should be simple with SO much chaos — like this poor toothpaste that was twisted into oblivion:

    An open toothpaste tube squeezed from the top, with paste overflowing onto a counter

    2. And these abused HDMI ports:

    Close-up of a PS5 HDMI port damaged by forceful cable insertion

    3. These toilet paper rolls that were cruelly sacrificed to the bath time gods:

    Bathtub filled with water, bubbles, various toys, and a floating roll of toilet paper

    4. The kid who had personal beef with Newton and his cradle:

    Newton's cradle with balls in motion on a wooden floor

    5. Yes, of course that's permanent marker:

    Scratches and scribbles cover a white surface, implying a child's drawing or accidental marks

    6. If it's not permanent marker — crayons always seem to be at the scene of the crime:

    A glass of chocolate milk with colorful candy pieces floating on top

    7. And crayons definitely do NOT belong in the dishwasher:

    Open dishwasher with dishes and visible detergent spill on door interior

    8. I bet this kid is still grounded for this:

    White SUV with child's red scribble drawings on the side

    9. This washing machine leaks now because a kid took a bite out of it, and I wish I could hear the phone call the parent had to make to the warranty company:

    Close-up of a washing machine's open door with a visible care label

    10. Biting things that have no business being bitten seems to be a real common problem:

    Damaged drywall with a humorous caption about child-proofing not mentioned in manuals

    11. I know people say kids are expensive, but c'mon:

    ripped up money

    12. If you have kids, you might open your pantry for a sweet treat and find empty hopes and dreams:

    An opened pack of cookies on a counter with all of the cookies missing

    13. This kid finished all the cookies and then tried to swindle their parent by replacing them with Cookie Crisps cereal:

    Opened chocolate chip cookie cereal box with few pieces of cereal, held by a person, expressing surprise at the small quantity remaining

    14. These parents honestly just have to move:

    A social media post about a child urinating in a humidifier with a humorous comment on birth control

    15. This mom was NOT happy about their kid drawing on their designer bag (even though the bag seems pretty happy about it):

    Small pink purse with a chain strap and facial features resembling a cat

    16. This absolutely haunting note from school:

    Note from a child about a potty accident at 3:10 PM, requesting a change of clothes for school

    17. And finally, a lot of these kids are just bein' kids — but this one miiight be a demon:

    Shelf with overturned cans and scattered wrappers, joke on child's humorous reaction to being grounded

    H/T: r/KidsAreCondomAds and r/KidsAreF*ckingStupid