21 Genuinely Hilarious Tweets About The First Day Of School Every Parent Can Relate To
"On the first day of school, you cry because your babies are growing up too fast, but after the first week of school, you're like get out of my car."
For parents, the first day of school can be a bittersweet event. On the one hand, it’s a poignant reminder of the passage of time — your little one is growing up before your eyes.
But on the other hand, after a long summer break, you might be relieved to have them out of the house and relish the peace and quiet.
Below, we’ve gathered 21 funny tweets from parents about the highs, lows, and hilarity that accompany the start of a new school year.
It’s the night before the first day of school, when all through the house, not a creature was stirring—
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) August 18, 2021
SCHOOL EMAIL: ONE MORE THING
Shoutout to all the parents who took the obligatory perfect portrait of the kids on the first day of school, as if all utter hell didn’t break loose in the house during the epic shitshow of getting them ready on time. You’re all my people.
— Goldfish and Chicken Nuggets (@gfishandnuggets) September 7, 2022
Today is the first day of school for my kids. They only go for 2 hrs. I get to drop them off, go home to use the bathroom and then go back to pick them up.
— Jacana Mommy (@jacanamommy) September 7, 2021
Me: How was your first day of school?
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 14, 2020
4-year-old: I didn't hurt anyone.
Better than expected.
I asked my son what time he wanted me to wake him up on the 1st day of school:
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) August 8, 2022
"6:30, so I have enough time to shower & cry."
My favorite thing about the kids' first day of school is when they come home and I get carpal tunnel from the small truckload of papers that takes me three hours to sign.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) August 31, 2022
Weird how the first day of school also coincides with the first day anybody has ever driven a car.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) August 10, 2023
For the first day of school pickup, I threw away the snack wrappers from the backseat but I didn’t vacuum. Couldn’t set the bar too high for the rest of the year.
— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) August 31, 2022
All summer long: Kids are healthy.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) September 10, 2022
5 minutes into the 1st day of school: Everyone has Ebola
Me: What are you going to wear on the first day of school?
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 31, 2023
9-year-old: My coolest shirt.
Me: What about the second day?
9: My coolest shirt again.
I'm going to be doing a lot of laundry.
On the first day of school you cry because your babies are growing up too fast, but after the 1st week of school you're like get out of my car.
— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) August 19, 2022
The first day of school is singlehandedly keeping the tiny chalkboard industry alive
— The Dad (@thedad) August 19, 2019
On the 1st day of school, my 6-year-old told me about his art teacher, Mr. McClay. This week, I found out his name is actually Mr. Mitchell.
— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) August 31, 2022
Turns out my kid has been calling him McClay because he thinks that's a better name for an art teacher.
Yesterday was the first day of school and I found homework in my kids backpack five minutes before we had to leave. It was for me.
— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) August 30, 2022
If it wasn't for the first day of school, I'd never see my kids in a decent shirt one day a year.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) September 1, 2021
Sent my sister a pic of my kids on their first day of school and she asked me where was the pic of me with a drink in my hand jumping on the couch?
— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) September 7, 2022
My favorite part of my 5 year old's first day of school pic with me and her dad is not that it's taken at a weird angle, or how my husband's head is cut off, it's how you can see my poor 4 year old taking our picture on my sunglasses.
— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) August 5, 2021
Introducing my kids to Ferris Bueller's Day Off the night before their first day of school may have been a mistake.
— The Dad (@thedad) August 14, 2023
*first day of school*
— meghan (@deloisivete) August 29, 2022
4yo: and there's a kid called Hunter
6yo: *muttering* I bet he doesn't even hunt
My kid’s last words to me before she leaves for her first day of school: “but hey mom, make sure to get some work done today”
— Linda Tirado (@KillerMartinis) August 6, 2021
OK FIRST OF ALL YOU ARE IN THIRD GRADE
It's important to set an alarm the first day of school, so you remember to pick up the kids
— meghan (@deloisivete) August 7, 2023