'The Breakfast Club' Is A Mess Of A Film

This movie is an unrealistic mess of a film. I have a lot of questions.

Ahh 'The Breakfast Club.' A true 80s classic. There's romance, a high school bad boy and Molly Ringwald's ridiculous hair. What's not to love? I'll tell you what's not to love. I recently watched this movie for the first time in a long time and had to immediately schedule an emergency appointment with my therapist because of this anxiety-inducing shambly-ass movie.

1. What kind of high school has detention on a Saturday?

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For EIGHT HOURS? There's no way that's not illegal. How come the principal elected to supervise them for that long on a Saturday? and when John (the bad boy) starts mouthing off, the principal randomly gives him about 10 more Saturday detentions. He just booked himself up for the next two months. Also, I'm pretty sure teachers can't just verbally give high school students detention. There must be some paperwork involved. None of it makes any sense.

2. More about this damn principal

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Why the HELL is he so mean? Also he doesn't even do his job? He sits in his office doing absolutely nothing and only gives the kids one bathroom break? Who hired this man? Does he have a family? I understand nothing.

3. It's TOO coincidental

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So you're trying to tell me that out of all the students at this school, only one from each high school stereotype got detention that week? How convenient for the plot. I would have loved to see two jocks who beat the shit out of the criminal during detention.

4. Speaking of the criminal

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I have a bone to pick with John, the criminal. He's an abuser? He sexually assaults Claire in the middle of the library by sticking his fat head up her skirt. He's a pervert? Can someone CALL THE POLICE??

5. The dude brought a gun to school. A GUN

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When they're all sitting in a circle talking about how they got detention, the geek, Brian, shares that he brought a gun to school because he wanted to kill himself. SO... the kid brings a GUN and all he gets is detention? Also he doesn't get any counseling even though he is suicidal?? This school needs to be shut down ASAP.

6. The dance party

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These are major questions. So, they all smoke weed and get super high in the library and the principal doesn't smell that? Then they all proceed to have a dance party where they go so hard that the jock breaks a glass window? Are we sure they weren't slamming rails of cocaine? And what are the ramifications of him breaking that window?

These are just SOME of the questions I have about this movie. I'll be tossing and turning every night for a month wondering how anyone watched this movie without being horrifyingly confused.