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    Posted on Mar 26, 2018

    Jeff Goldblum Is 65 Years Old And Looks Younger Than You

    Jeff Goldblum is many things, but "mere mortal" is not one of them.

    Hello and welcome. I am here today to blow your mind with some simple math. This is Jeffrey Lynn Goldblum, who you probably know simply as Jeff Goldblum, Hottest And Most Charming Man Alive:

    Kevin Winter / Getty Images

    Jeffrey Lynn Goldblum was born on October 22, 1952. Now, if you don't have a calculator on hand, allow me to save you some precious time. By my calculations, that makes our beloved Jeffrey Lynn 65 years old.

    Pascal Le Segretain / Getty Images

    In light of this math, many questions spring to mind, such as "How?" and "What?" and "No?"

    Rich Fury / Getty Images

    As you can tell by taking one quick, cursory glance at sweet Jeff, he cannot be 65 years old.

    Theo Wargo / Getty Images

    Look, 65 is not necessarily "old," however, there is no way in hell THIS MAN is 65 years old.

    I am a 29-year-old woman and I'm pretty sure Jeff Goldblum is at least a couple years younger than me.

    Pascal Le Segretain / Getty Images

    Perhaps our Jeffrey Lynn is not a man at all.

    Rich Polk / Getty Images

    Perhaps he is an alien, sent here to fuck with our collective sense of both age and time, and help us evolve past mere numbers.

    Michael Loccisano / Getty Images

    Perhaps he is a wizard, an otherworldly being who's used magic to halt the aging process.

    Dia Dipasupil / Getty Images

    Perhaps he was grown in a lab somewhere, in a test tube labeled "Personification of a Snack."

    Lars Niki / Getty Images

    Perhaps he is simply one of those Ageless Ovary Destroyers, sent here to destroy ovaries and look real good doing it.

    Whatever he is, however this non-mortal identifies, he is currently 65 human years old, and that is insane.

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