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Which Queen's Guy Should You Hook Up With?

mmmmmmm...all so sexy

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  1. Where would you like to meet your guy?

    Stages
    My res floor
    Ale House all ages event
    Kegger at my friends’ FRECs’ house
    Across the hall on my res floor
    Football party
    Through friends
    Waiting for a cab in the lobby
    Halloween party
  2. What physical feature turns you on?

    Forgettable face
    Big dick but skinny body
    Childlike body
    Tall
    Big and black
    Homeless looking with dad bod
    Unique nipples
    Stick thin and cross-eyed
    Soft feminine features
  3. Where do you want to get down and dirty?

    My res room while my roommate is there
    The stage at Ale House
    Men’s’ bathroom at Stages
    My double res room
    My res room with my roommate and her friends there
    The floor of my friend’s room while she
    His house
    His single res room
    My single res room
  4. Which sexual activity do you enjoy most?

    Stationary and fully clothed sex
    Getting my ass eaten
    Limp dick on my head
    Whiskey dick
    Cuddling after sex
    Normal drunk sex
    P in the V
    Getting fingered in public
    Getting fucked while unconscious
  5. What is your relationship like afterwards?

    Avoid him at all costs until he texts you months later asking to “chill”
    Avoid him and feel embarrassed that it ever happened
    Try to become friend and ignore when he tries to make a move on you
    Avoid him (floorcest is awkward af)
    One night stand
    Act like it never happened and stay friends
    Friends with benefits
    Continue talking but eventually break it off
    Lead him on then suddenly ghost him
  6. How good is the sex?

    The worst I’ve even had
    He couldn’t get it up but was good at other stuff ?
    Too drunk to remember
    Great ?
    Made me want to cuddle all day long
    Too drunk to have sex
    Ok but I wasn’t into it
    Drunk and gross
    Unsure whether or not sex occurred (was unconscious while it happened)

Which Queen's Guy Should You Hook Up With?

You got: Andy Ngobila (Andy Bil)

This black giant loves drunk unconscious girls, so if you like to get blackout drunk every weekend you too would have a great time. BONUS: he works at Stages (but probably won’t let you in). Andy also likes to text you after months of not talking at 2am asking to "chill".

Andy Ngobila (Andy Bil)
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You got: Gavin Millard

This homeless looking eng kid is down for anything, even a threesome with your grossest friend. Gavin enjoys country music and beer. Be careful though, he will piss the bed when drunk.

Gavin Millard
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You got: Rando

This guy is someone you meet when drunk who you may or may not remember his name. Most likely, you'll have extremely drunk sex and forget most of it. If you're lucky, he won't ask for your number and save you the trouble of blocking him after.

Rando
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You got: Charlie Shapiro

Although Charlie looks like a 12 year old boy, he can fuck like a 16 year old girl. With Charlie, you'll be embarrassed for sleeping with him but you might be able to score some ADHD pills after (at least he's good for something).

Charlie Shapiro
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You got: Kenneth Nordholm

Crazy Ken is someone who you think is gay (this thought comes from the time he carved "I'm gay" into the wall) but you smash anyways. Ken loves to cuddle, but be careful, he's psychotic.

Kenneth Nordholm
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You got: Cameron Mackay

Cam has been into you for a while, but you tell yourself you'll never do it. Then one day you're drunk/horny/lonely and you hook up in your friends room, pretend it never happened after. You also suspect he is gay/bi.

Cameron Mackay
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You got: Ben Inwood (Dickhead)

Where to start, this skinny second year has so many quirks you will never be bored around him. From his musical theatre talents to his ballet dancing, he does not have any muscle. If you like soft penises touching you, Ben is the guy for you.

Ben Inwood (Dickhead)
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You got: Callum Stephenson

With skinny legs but a chunky stomach, Callum is literally the next door. A virgin when you met, you taught Callum everything he knows. Having a fuckbuddy right across the hall is super convenient as well.

Callum Stephenson
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You got: Luke Beelen

Tall, handsome, smart, engineer, Luke has it all. Or almost....but sometimes big feet don't necessarily mean big in other areas. Luke has an interesting sex style; he likes to be as still as possible.

Luke Beelen
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