The Only 9 Things In 2013 You’ll Want On Your Body

The greatest fashion label in the world, The Mountain (the guys who make the 3 Wolf Moon shirt), just released their 2013 collection preview. And it’s wonderful.

9. Super Angry-Looking Blue Jay

Talk about angry birds, amirite? But seriously, folks, it’s a big, mean-looking bird on a tie-dye shirt. If you’re not basing your entire fall wardrobe around this shirt, then you probably wear Croc-Uggs.

8. Sloth Face

Big sloth face. Timeless. Classic. What more can I say?

7. Giant Adorable Corgi Puppy with Its Tongue Out

Look at this little guy’s face! Only downside to this shirt is the constant hugging you’d get whenever you wore it. Your boss would hug you, strangers would hug you, homeless people would hug you.

6. Alien Smokin’ a Doob

What if…aliens came to Earth, and it turned out they were exactly like the guy down the hall from you in your freshman dorm who had white guy dreadlocks and a cloth wall-hanging of Bob Marley?

5. A Pig Who Loves Skiing or Snowmobiling

Why do I believe this pig was snowmobiling instead of skiing or snowboarding? I just feel it. This pig loves getting on there on the snowmobile like Todd Palin, feeling the brisk air flap in his ears, just admiring the beautiful snowy scenery.

4. Badass Wolf DJ

Untz Untz Untz Untz Untz Untz Untz Untz Untz Untz A-whoooooooooo

3. Catfishing

How is that fish propelling itself at such an extreme trajectory? Only The Mountain knows.

2. Inquisitive Goat

This is the precise angle you’d see if you passed out drunk in a barn, then woke up to a goat licking your face.

1. Hairless-Cat Shirt

Actually imagine for a moment walking down the street in this shirt. School children screaming, men throwing garbage at you. Police would Taser you, old ladies would hit you with their umbrellas.

This is the shirt that ends the world.

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