It’s Like a Snuggie, For Your Marriage
What woman hasn’t been totally turned off by her husband’s flatulence in the bedroom? I know a Dutch Oven has never made me randy. Well, congratulations America, you’ve thought of everything. This time it’s in the form of a blanket that sucks up your farts like a Dyson meth. Now you can continue to enjoy those greasy, gas-producing foods, ruining your body and heart, and let ‘er rip in the bedroom even right before your wife climbs aboard your gravy train. Now there’s a thought.
Ribbed For Her Pleasure
I’m sorry, I get that little girls want barrettes and fancy stuff in their hair, but I have boys. And all I could think of when I saw this is you’re setting up the little girls of the world to go from this gaudy looking barrette hair clippy thing to some mismatched leopard print and pink rain cap that Seinfeld’s mother would wear in Sarasota Springs Retirement Home. A lifetime of gaudy, if you will. This one definitely goes in the category “I Want to Punch a Crafter.” Because people, I do. I really do. It’s like someone is trying to scrapbook a child and that is WRONG. Just say no to ribbed mermaids. Especially in your daughter’s hair.
Travel Bag for Wine: Perfect for the Drunk Homeless Subway Rat
Baggy Winecoat gives the popular Bag in Box wines a casual but stylish look! Simply take the wine bag out of the box, place it in the Baggy Wine Coat and close the flexible top. A rubber bottom makes sure the Baggy Winecoat do not tip over; neither on the dinner table, nor on the picnic. If you want to carry your wine with you, just grab the handle and go!”
Anthropomorphic Animals Abound: Our Favorite Animated Films. WHAT'S YOURS???
I mean the stuff like in "My Neighbor Totoro" where the giant eight-legged cat, that is actually a bus, levitates all over the place super-fast and has glowing rats for tail-lights and the kids in the film have to climb into its skin to go see their mom in the hospital.
Hilarious Recap of Last Night's Dancing With the "Stars"
Readers? Dear readers. You asked for it, you pleaded for it, and now you've got it. Your tiny little internet pal Miss Banshee is recapping Dancing with the Freaking Stars. This is my first time watching it, so I had NO IDEA WHAT THE HOLY FU...I mean, how interesting this show is. Hold me? A disclaimer. I know next to nothing about dancing. I was a goth club kid, I danced in platform boots in a cage.