What Your Name Says About You (According To Urban Dictionary)

You know what's more accurate than a horoscope? Urban Dictionary's oddly specific definition for everybody's name. Don't believe me? Read.

1. Mary: Marriage Material

"Mary is a kind, caring, beautiful, stunning, and amazing girl that everyone has to fall in love with.

She is committed to one guy only, and is very faithful. She is the best girl you'll ever have the pleasure of meeting in your life. Every time she enters the room suddenly you are filled with joy, and she is always able to put a giant smile on your face. She makes you feel at home, loved, and like there's no one else but you. "

In other words, marry a Mary.

2. Susan: Unsung Heroine

"Susan is a great person, but doesn't always know it. Susans are caring and intelligent, but never see the beauty in themselves. She knows it's there, but sometimes needs a little encouragement to see it. They are often ambitious, and sometimes get themselves in a little over their heads."

Smile, Susan! You're so money and don't even know it.

3. James: Well Endowed

"Someone who is un usually well hung. People with the name James are generally known for their good looks (especially the eyes) and women are just simply attracted to them."

Well then....good for you James.

4. Kevin: Good Eyes and Better Heart

"Kevin is basically the best boyfriend ever. He's understanding, caring, and a great listener.

You can act like a five year old with him but also have heart to heart conversations. Kevin has his struggles but always puts other people first. He acts strong but has a tendency to break down and not ask for help. He has the best eyes and personality."

*scrolls through phone to find Kevins*

5. Ronald: Passionate and Firm

"A Ronald is a strong man, who on the inside is always fighting with himself. But past that is a man, that if you catch, you must hold on for dear life. He is passionate about many things, and never get on his bad side, or you'll regret it."

DON'T get on Ron's bad side.

6. Jason: Creepy But Loyal

"Jason is a very kind hearted person. He can be shy at many times and you think he's a total creep until you really get to know him. He is crushing on this one girl that he can't possibly get over. He is very loyal and would sacrifice everything for his friends and family."

Poor Jason. He's just trying to get close to those he cares about.

7. Karen: Strong Independent Woman

"She's perfect. Stronger than most people. Independent because she knows what she's worth. Totally broken but yet such a happy person. She's loving and caring towards her loved ones. She's mysterious. She gets angry and hell breaks loose."

I would also like to add *first to complain to the manager at Walmart". 😳

8. Jennifer: Hottie

"A beautiful, hot, sweet, caring lady. she attracts A LOT of guys. she can cheer you up when your down. A lot of people are jealous of her. Loves to stand out."

Jenny from da blockkkk

9. Mike: Wild, Caring – and Good in Bed

"Mike is a person who is caring, loving, protective, kind, stubborn, hardheaded, a good listener, and hilarious. He can make you laugh and want to smack him all at once. He is good in bed, and tends to be on the wild side most days."

Hey Mike Mike Mike? What day is it?? HUMP DAYYYY.

10. Chloe: Talented but Doesn't Know It

"A Chloe is a girl who is amazing and talented but sometimes has a low self-esteem. She may not feel beautiful or hot, but she is the most beautiful and adorable girl you can ever meet. She is sweet and when she has to say something people will listen."

Chloes of the world – see your worth!

11. Jeff: Defies Definition

"Jeff is a state of being. Not simply just a name; A state of existence higher than nirvana."

This actually perfectly describes every Jeff I know. Jeff Goldblum, Jeff Bridges, Jeff Buckley....that's all the Jeff's I know.

12. Brian: Funny and Strong

"He is a very intelligent guy, who keeps his priorities straight and is extremely well rounded. Not only is he smart, but he is athletic, handsome, sexy, funny, and a great guy to hang out around.

Trust me his somewhat klutzy personality can be funny when he plays the role/ He can often be very dramatic, in the good way. He is one of those guys that you can just share about anything with. He instantly just gains your trust."

Brian sounds like that dude who played football in high school but didn't take it too seriously and in the summer had a boat everyone liked to go on and everyone loved him cuz he had a golden retriever named Daisy.

13. George: Knows What He (Doesn't) Like

"A person who would kick you out of the party for playing justin bieber"

Okay, George, what's wrong with being a Belieber??? Sorry the dude went from pre-tween dweeb to creating banger after banger on everything from acoustic guitar to electric dance to whatever you would describe DJ Khaled songs as.

14. Bruce: You're Either In or You're OUT

"Bruce is stubborn, selfish, careless friend. If he thinks your not good enough or your toxic to him, he will cut you off from his life. On the other hand Bruce is an amazing, kind guy, always ready to smile. It doesn´t take long for any girl to make the connection."

The only two Bruce's I can think of are the shark from Finding Nemo and Bruce Willis. I kinda feel like this works fro both of them?

15. Dwight: The Lovable Nerd

"One of the most amazing guys you'll ever meet. Extremely nice, handsome, cute, funny and is amazing with computers"

Okay Angela, we all know you wrote this.

16. Brad: A self-centered douche.

"A self-centered douche."

Yea...not much to add here.

17. Allie: Brunette, I guess?

"Most Allie's are very gorgeous but don't know it. They think they are ugly and criticize themselves a lot. They get annoyed with there closest friends but are always there for them.

Usually curvy or skinny. Not fat.

Usually brunette sometimes blonde. "

I feel like there's maybe a lot of unfair assumptions about race and body type here, but also like, this accurately describes all 5 Allie's I know....

18. Kimberly: You Already Know

"Kimberly, in other words, she's HOT!!! Beautiful, charming, sexy, nice, sweet, cute, awesome, wonderful, out-of-this-world, fantastic, GORGEOUS! She can light up your world all over, just the way she gives you that smile."

It's cuz of that damn pink power ranger I swear.

19. Elizabeth: Sarcastic With A Big Heart

"A member of the human species with the biggest heart out of all of the rest. Kind to all. Smart but doesn't think so. So funny that one can make anyone laugh. Extremely beautiful because of physicality along with inward aspects. A wise ass in the best way possible. "

20. Charlotte: Punk In A Good Way

"A cute rebellious girl, that not only is always right but perfect in every way, even if they don't realize it. They are smart, cheerful and fun to be around. Even though they have gone through hardships in life, they will always have someone to be there with them loving them for who they are, no matter what they think of themselves and how they think they look to others."

Bad Charlotte, Good Charlotte.

21. Samantha: Confident And Magentic

"Samantha's are extremely confident and can stand on their own. They light up a room by simply walking in. They always make others feel good. They are immune to negativity so haters, don't waste your energy on Samantha...her self-esteem will always outshine you!"

Samantha Jones, ladies and gentlemen?

22. William: Ummm...you read it

"A guy that can be the guy of your dreams. You would feel like he wouldnt notice you, but deep down hes proabably thinking the same thing.

He's the type of guy that once you get to know him, you are like best friends and after a while you are pretty much falling inlove with him. He is an amazing kisser and knows where to touch a girl in all the right places. He is an amazing boyfriend and makes you feel like you are his only one. He's the one that you will have late convocations with on the phone until 3am..."

Well then....moving on....

23. Ryan: Gosling

"Ryan is a guy who is just amazing. He is stubborn, angered easily, cute, kind but also cold hearted. He keeps everything bottled up, but when he explodes don't get in his way. He could win any girls heart over. He usually is not the type for relationships, but when he gives you his heart he gives you everything. You can easily get lost in his eyes."

If you're a bird he's a bird.

24. Sara: Private Diva

"Sara can at times be a sarcastic diva, but only when she has good reason.

Boys are afraid of her, they think she is out of their league. But Sara feels alone, because few guys have the courage to talk to a girl that amazing.

Sara's been through the worst hardships. But you wouldn't know, she doesn't like to burden others with her troubles."

25. Peter: Hero In The Making

"A Peter believes he has no feelings for anyone when really deep down inside he knows he does. peters might start off on the wrong path but they will eventually make a difference in the world. Peters will use their heart to change people's lives for the better."

Way to go Peter.