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25 Dating Tips Every Introvert Needs To Know

Less awkward, more awesome.

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We recently asked members of the BuzzFeed Community what their best introverted dating tip is. Here are some of the most helpful responses:

1. Suggest meeting up at a restaurant you know you like. / Via

"I prefer to go to a place I knew or had been to before. It made me more comfortable knowing the area, what kind of food there was, etc., so I could focus on the person and talking to them rather than the atmosphere or what I would order." —Stephanie Combs, Facebook

2. Get your extroverted friends to play wingman.

"Go to events your more extroverted friends invite you to. Even if that means saying no to bingeing on another series! Dress in a comfortable way and talk to people your friends are/were talking to about something you/they find interesting. No pressure." —mechteldho

3. Treat strangers like old friends.

"One of the best pieces of advice I've ever gotten (from another introvert who was great at meeting/picking up people) was to treat the stranger like you've known them a long time but haven't seen them in a while. Do what you'd normally do then, ask how they're doing, ask how work has been, etc." —Martin Goetz, Facebook


4. Be upfront about your introversion.

"Don't be afraid to be upfront about being an introvert with your date. Introversion can be misread as a lack of interest to some people, so it's always better to say 'I'm an introvert' than to let them think you aren't enjoying their company." —Emily Weeden, Facebook

6. Focus on friendships first.

Buena Vista Television / Via

"Become friends with people. As an introvert, it's hard to meet new people, so try hanging out with people you already know. They will have other friends and you will eventually end up meeting people." —ameliag4a2dd527b

7. Ask questions.

DreamWorks Pictures / Via

"Ask fun questions about their likes and interests. Best concert you ever saw? Books you've read twice or more? Where would you go if you could travel anywhere tomorrow morning?" —William Gallagher, Facebook


8. And keep the conversation rolling by returning questions asked of you.

Books of Adam for BFF / BuzzFeed / Via Facebook: BFF

"Don't forget to return questions! I'm awful for this. Someone will ask about my family or work or something and I answer but forget to ask the same question." —courtneyz2

9. Reframe your thoughts so it's not all about impressing them.

CBS / Via

"When you're talking to someone you think you could be interested in, remember that you're looking to see if you are interested in them, not if they are interested in you. Once I thought of it that way, I was a lot less anxious and worried about being likable." —mrctheamazing

10. Don't expect instant chemistry.

"As an introvert, you will never find 'the one' if you think that is defined by instantly feeling comfortable with someone. First dates are never comfortable and especially not for us. Go out with them anyway and see what happens." —mollys42d38d032

11. Break the ice on a first date with a fun activity. / Via

"For a first date (or more if needed) pick something where there is a focus — something to do or see — that still allows you to talk. During the awkward silences you can just get on with your activity, but conversation is still possible. Especially handy if what you're doing gives you something to talk about." —eofw


13. Or take a walk. Bonus points if it's with a dog.

Disney / Via

"The best date for me, as an introvert, is going on a nice walk. It sounds lame and corny, but the walking leaves plenty of room for non-awkward silence and people watching makes for good conversation. It's even better if you have a dog to bring with you." —josephinea4b05eddf2

14. Plan a date that puts you totally in your element.

"My go-to things are art galleries or museums, lectures, fun educational things like that. I do things I'm passionate about so I'm speaking about what I really care about and it's not just meaningless conversations. My boyfriend and I often go to the Supreme Court or embassies." —kelseykw

15. Try dating another introvert.

Miramax Films / Via

"For me, I've found it much easier to date other introverts! They understand that I'd almost always rather have a low-key date at home than a night out, and they don't try to force me out of my comfort zone when I'm not prepared for it." —hayleym4c8f346f7


16. But don't count out an extrovert.

NBC / Via

"I used to date only introverts because I thought they understood me better. Yes they did, but we introverts tend to overthink so much that it leads us into believing that the silence is more awkward than what it really is. I'm now with an extrovert and I've never been so happy." —luisad491ca7563

17. Remember that the right person won't rush you.

"My current boyfriend took things slow. When I said I wasn't interested in dating him, he told me that he only wanted to get to know me. I could feel the sincerity, so I let him get to know me. We took everything at my pace. Five years later, I'm so glad that I let him get to know me." —kaleyn

18. Find a common hobby.

"My fiancé is the extrovert and I am the introvert. We share many hobbies that can be either extroverted or introverted depending on the setup, such as hunting and fishing." —Jessica Lee Warfel, Facebook

19. Don't feel the need to fill every awkward silence.

"Be with someone who does not feel that silence is awkward, uncomfortable, or bad news for a relationship. Being able to sit together and to just 'be' without having to talk or verbally interact can be such a welcome reprieve for an introvert." —Jamie Lee Wilson, Facebook


20. Be super honest when you're overwhelmed. No one's a mind reader.

"As an introvert married to an extrovert, open communication is key. When we first started dating, I would get frustrated because he would put me in situations that made me uncomfortable without realizing it or meaning to (taking me to places I didn't know anyone but him and wandering off to talk to someone else, or taking me to loud, noisy places, for example). Once I was able to communicate that I'm easily overwhelmed in crowds or meeting new people, things went a lot more smoothly." —Mariah Masell, Facebook

21. When it comes to parties, have a system.

"As an extrovert, my husband likes to wander off and talk to everyone everywhere we go. We start off together and he introduces me to people in the group and tells me something I have in common with someone there and starts a conversation. Having him bring me into the group and set up the conversation makes it easier for me to talk to the people I don't know even if he wanders off. Also before we go out, we decide how long we are going to stay somewhere so neither one of us tries to leave earlier or stay later than our compromised time." —katrinah4bce5c12a

22. You might have to compromise sometimes.

CBS // harrypotterandthechamberofimgur / imgur / Via

"Compromise. My partner of seven and a half years knows that when she and I go out, I'm going to need recharge time. And I know that there will be times that I will have to throw on a smile and socialize when I don't want to. It's all about give and take." —janetm43885b0d5

23. Keep your head up.

"I'm best known for how little I speak when in groups but I eventually found someone who kept talking to me until I opened up (months later). There's someone for everyone." —rachelm43bb450ee

24. Find the person who's even better to hang out with than being alone.

NBC / Via

"In all honesty, being an introvert gave me a secret dating weapon. If I spend time with someone I have feelings for and end up feeling completely socially exhausted, chances are that person and I aren't going to work out. My best relationships came with people who didn't empty my introvert energy — and I can usually figure out who drains me pretty quickly." —brooksb49e458fbd

25. And don't forget: Everyone likes pizza and Netflix.

"I think the best is to just be yourself. Even the best introverts have an extrovert side. Tell that hottie to come to your place, order a pizza, and get to know each other while watching Netflix!" —alyssan42d43ffe3