The word "anxiety" has taken on a blurred definition. The problem is that anxiety has become something that's seen as abnormal, a disease that's taken over the minds of people everywhere. In reality we all experience anxiety, also known as worry, nervousness, or unease . In 2016 we have a lot to live up to. We are constantly told that we need to be successful, make money, see the world, and own the hottest new trends. Many young people have developed "anxiety" surrounding their academics from the pressure put on them by their family, their school, and their society. Not only that, but people have developed a terribly imbedded fear of missing out (better known by young people as FOMO), being that people's every move is plastered all over social media. And as we get older and technology advances we are more informed about the ongoing horrors of our nation and the world. We hear of school shootings, terrorist attacks, and suspicious diseases that have us fearing anything further than our doorsteps.
Where we've gone wrong is perpetuating the idea that somehow these "anxieties" or fear of these very real things is somehow abnormal. Somehow it's become a label everyone places on themselves that somehow implies some mental instability. What many cannot seem to understand is that without this normal anxiety we would be completely oblivious to our surroundings or numb to the roller coaster of emotions and stress that comes with growing up.
What I have come to understand throughout my ongoing battle is to accept and even welcome these healthy and necessary anxieties that are a characteristic of being human.
On the other hand, however, it has forced me to look further into the anxieties I don't understand. The ones I can't point a finger at. For me it is not the tangible anxieties that debilitate me, but rather the unbearable fear of my own mind. It is the inner workings of my subconscious that as I make my greatest effort to live a "normal" life, act as a metal and turn my thoughts into magnets. Chained to my bed, and to the darkness. The outside world poison to the touch. Human contact too unpredictable to risk. And when the mundane tasks of life get in the way and I am forced into the toxic outside, I'm met with paralyzing and uncontrollable irrational fear with no tangible explanation. One that leaves me helpless and nearly unconscious in a bathroom stall. One that leaves me hyperventilating and shaking until my teeth feel like they're shattering into a million pieces. And my body tortured by its lack of oxygen throws up in an effort to force a gasp of air between each heave. It is this fear, that makes me feel completely absent of any human characteristics and forces me to lay bedridden and alone to drown in the flooding of my subconscious mind.
So again. The problem with the word "Anxiety" today is that we've forced together the healthy weariness of life, with the darkness and paralysis experienced by those whose minds go far beyond this healthy awareness. We must learn to recognize the feelings that make us human versus the feelings that dehumanize and isolate us from life.
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