Recently, a post by since-removed Reddit user u/Fearless_Studio_7676 (or Fearless Studio, for short) got a lot of attention on the popular r/AmItheAsshole subreddit. Fearless Studio shared his story and asked, "Am I the asshole for making my stepdaughter leave the restaurant for disrespecting the waiter?"
Here's what happened, in Fearless Studios' own words: "I was dining with my wife and kids yesterday," he begins. "Our party included Hailey, 16, who's my stepdaughter. We had picked a relatively expensive restaurant because we thought it'd be better to do things properly, as we were going out together for the first time in a while."
He continues, "During dinner, while the waiter was serving one of the dishes, he accidentally tripped or something. I think he might have lost his grip, I am not sure. But some of the dish fell onto Hailey's clothes, ruining them. He apologized immediately, but she got livid at him."
Fearless Studios goes on: "She proceeded to call him a 'bastard,' saying, 'Why are you a goddamn waiter if you can't even watch where you are going? You are already paid low, so I'd have thought you'd be more careful.' She was shouting, and almost everyone was looking at us now. I was shocked and asked her to apologize."
He adds, "In the end, I told her that I might not be able to force her to apologize, but I can definitely refuse to pay for her. I asked her to get out of the restaurant. She began screaming and protested. I did not relent, and the end result is that she had to leave."
Here's the kicker: "My wife lashed out at me, saying that I overreacted and that although what Hailey said may have been wrong, it did not warrant asking her to leave. Am I the asshole?"
The overwhelming consensus is that Fearless Studio is not the asshole, and people had a lot to say about his family.
"If she can’t behave well in a nice restaurant, then she shouldn’t be there. It’s no different from keeping poorly behaved or loud kids away. If she’s going to act like a child, then she’s going to be treated like a child."
"You can always tell the quality of someone's character by how they treat waiters or other service industry personnel. Your wife is enabling your stepdaughter's horribly rude behavior."
"Screaming at the waiter and putting them down like that was totally out of line, even if the waiter did make a mistake. If it were my child, I would make them handwrite a note apologizing to the waiter and force them to go back and deliver it in person!"
"Your stepdaughter was incredibly rude and disrespectful. That girl needs to get a job in the service industry and see how hard they work and how much crap they put up with. She has no right to speak to someone that way."
"You're not the asshole. The waiter made a mistake and apologized. Your daughter has a right to be upset, and we all say extreme things in the heat of the moment sometimes. She should, however, have calmed down and apologized. There is no need to make somebody feel small after a mistake. If you have a grievance, there are ways to deal with it in a constructive way."
"There’s no question in my mind that it would be messed up for her to stay and for that waiter or one of his colleagues to have to serve her during the rest of dinner."
"Thank you for standing up for a server. You made that waiter's day."
I am mortified. Please let me know your thoughts — I wish we knew more about the dynamic of this family. I guess the moral of the story is, teach your kids basic manners, and not to yell at people in public!
Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.