Recently, user u/Wonderful_Living_623 took to Reddit to ask, "What’s something you didn’t understand till it happened to you?" Here are some of the most thought-provoking responses.
1. "That you can't power through grief and just decide you're over something and are ready to move on. Grief goes at its own pace, whether you're tired of being crushed by it or not."
2. "When I was younger I never understood why people enjoyed living a boring life, but now that's literally all I look forward to. I would give anything for just a normal boring night over the chaos of partying."
"I want to sit at home with my normal, boring family and my normal, boring dogs, not out at a bar or a club, trying to impress people that I don't know or care about. My life is incredible now and it's the most boring it's ever been. I don't have social media (besides Reddit), I don't drink anymore, and most nights I'm falling asleep on my couch by 11 p.m. It's f—ing wonderful."
3. "Sounds daft but the whole 'blink and your kids are suddenly grown up' thing feels really really real."
4. "Having a child struggle with mental health. It was the most agonizing time of my life. I could not love her through it, I could not fix it for her, I was just a bystander watching one of the people I love most in this world suffering. Thankfully, she is much better today, but I’m still fearful that we will end up in that situation again someday. My heart goes out to any parent, spouse, or sibling who's experienced this."
5. "Chemo. Intellectually I knew it was awful, but until I went through it myself I did not appreciate how horrible it can be. I had it worse than some and easier than others, but pretty bad. I know how important and helpful it was to get messages of all kinds (text, phone, email, cards, gifts) from kind friends and family while I was going through it. That will definitely be something I will do more of for other people in the future."
6. "Arthritis. I'm a nurse and when I was in my 20s & 30s, the elder residents I cared for [claimed they] could tell the weather by how their joints ached. I didn't believe them. Fast forward to my late 40s: I developed severe arthritis in my right knee and had a knee replacement at age 49. I'm 51 now and by golly those barometric pressure changes go by my creaky joints. I know when something's blowing in."
7. "Pretty girl privilege. I had long wavy red hair my whole life until a couple years ago when I cut it very short in a more masculine style, and immediately men were treating me differently. It was shocking because up to that point, I’d believed doors were being held for me and men were waving and being polite to me because they were actually kind people. Turns out that wasn’t the case. I was just a cute girl to them. When I was no longer a 'cute' girl, the politeness was dropped. I’m used to it now. But man, it was shocking and extremely disheartening to realize."
8. "How bad pregnancy actually is."
—u/randumbgirl
9. "Childbirth. It's so different from what one expects. It's almost like people keep it a secret how horrific childbirth is, so they can get women to be willing to go through it."
—u/Bergenia1
"It’s like the worlds best-kept secret. Even my sister didn’t warn me."
—u/Kartapele
"100% agree. I feel like it was a sick joke and I would have chosen a cesarean if people had been truthful."
—u/LostLorikeet
10. "The crushing monotony of the full-time job. The never-ending cycle of go to bed, wake up early, commute to work, spend 8 hours there, drive home, enjoy a couple hours at home, and then go to bed and do it over again. Get a few weeks of time off per YEAR."
11. "This won’t be popular, but I’ll say it: being the one who cheated. I was so sure I was someone who would never do that — it was unfathomable to me. Until the thoughts crept in and a million lines were crossed I never knew existed. Until it was too late to even see a line I recognized. I used to be someone who thought, “Why wouldn’t you just break up first rather than cheating?” Thing was, I didn’t fall out of love with my husband. I fell in love with someone else as well."
12. "Growing up, I never understood why my dad (a professor with a heavy teaching load) would come home from work, sit in his recliner, and just stare at the TV. I’d think, 'there’s a whole world of fun things to do out there! Go out and do some of them!' Then I became a professor with a heavy teaching load. Know what I did after work every day? Sat down and stared at the TV. I had absolutely no energy for anything else!"
13. "Having someone close to me commit suicide. I didn't understand the implications of what this can do to someone so close to it. I will never be the same. It's been almost two years and I am so f—cked up about this every day."
14. "Survivor guilt is a real thing… when other people talked about when they lost a loved one to a tragedy that they were there for I always assured them it wasn't their fault and they couldn't have controlled the outcome. I was confused why they seemed to blame themselves. Then it happened to me, and all I thought about was that it was my fault. I could’ve done this or that differently. I could have saved them. Of course it wasn’t my fault, but the feeling of guilt was strong. Years later, I truly still blame myself. I don’t know if it ever goes away, even knowing that things couldn’t have changed."
15. "People’s love of cat videos! I always thought they were mildly amusing until I got my own cat. Now I’m addicted and I have more photos and videos of cats that anything else."
16. "The love I could have for a child. I had always wanted to be a mom, but as I got older (mid to late 20s), I came to accept that I would never have children and I was living life very free and happy. I loved my life, and was genuinely happy with the idea of not having children anymore. Then I met my now-fiancé, we have a little girl and I am so in love and protective of her. She is the best thing to ever happen to me. I always thought it was just cliche for parents to say that, but I really get it now."
If you've experienced anything that's totally changed your view of life — or anything that you would have just never understood before — let us know! You never know how it might help somebody else.
Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.