I love this so much. You can almost imagine the clerk coming into work, tossing his bag onto the counter, and ignoring the pleasantries from his coworkers. “Hey Charlie, good night?” “Morning, Charlie.” Not now. Not when I have truth to defend.
“Where are those blank stickers?!” And then the sharpie of justice came down and branded Lance Armstrong forever. A photo was taken to commemorate the occasion. High fives were thrown all around. It was uploaded to Reddit, so that the world would know of this most epic of literary burns. Then all the clerks stood around for a long moment, before one of them reminded Charlie it was his turn to do inventory, and he really should go do that.
- Donald Trump says the shooting of NBA star Dwyane Wade's cousin is evidence of high crime rates he believes will boost his support among black people in November's election.
- Facebook shifts to algorithms to decide which stories to highlight in its trending news section after allegations of liberal bias at the company.
- Protesters climbed Berlin's Brandenburg Gate to protest against refugees. About 1.1 million asylum-seekers arrived in Germany last year.