I love this so much. You can almost imagine the clerk coming into work, tossing his bag onto the counter, and ignoring the pleasantries from his coworkers. “Hey Charlie, good night?” “Morning, Charlie.” Not now. Not when I have truth to defend.
“Where are those blank stickers?!” And then the sharpie of justice came down and branded Lance Armstrong forever. A photo was taken to commemorate the occasion. High fives were thrown all around. It was uploaded to Reddit, so that the world would know of this most epic of literary burns. Then all the clerks stood around for a long moment, before one of them reminded Charlie it was his turn to do inventory, and he really should go do that.
- The substance used to assassinate the half-brother of North Korea's leader has been identified as VX nerve agent, a chemical listed as a weapon of mass destruction.
- A Kansas man shot three people after allegedly yelling "get out of my country." He believed two of the victims were Middle Eastern, however they were not.
- Former Rep. Gabrielle Giffords told Congress to "face your constituents," after a congressman used her 2011 shooting as justification for not holding a town hall.