I love this so much. You can almost imagine the clerk coming into work, tossing his bag onto the counter, and ignoring the pleasantries from his coworkers. “Hey Charlie, good night?” “Morning, Charlie.” Not now. Not when I have truth to defend.
“Where are those blank stickers?!” And then the sharpie of justice came down and branded Lance Armstrong forever. A photo was taken to commemorate the occasion. High fives were thrown all around. It was uploaded to Reddit, so that the world would know of this most epic of literary burns. Then all the clerks stood around for a long moment, before one of them reminded Charlie it was his turn to do inventory, and he really should go do that.
- A state of emergency was declared in Baghdad as protesters breached the fortified "Green Zone," home to most ministries and embassies in the city.
- Daniel J. Berrigan, an American priest and poet famous for leading anti-Vietnam War protests, has died at the age 94.
- U.S. President Barack Obama zinged the media and presidential contenders before dropping the mic at his final White House Correspondents' Dinner 🇺🇸