I love this so much. You can almost imagine the clerk coming into work, tossing his bag onto the counter, and ignoring the pleasantries from his coworkers. “Hey Charlie, good night?” “Morning, Charlie.” Not now. Not when I have truth to defend.
“Where are those blank stickers?!” And then the sharpie of justice came down and branded Lance Armstrong forever. A photo was taken to commemorate the occasion. High fives were thrown all around. It was uploaded to Reddit, so that the world would know of this most epic of literary burns. Then all the clerks stood around for a long moment, before one of them reminded Charlie it was his turn to do inventory, and he really should go do that.
- Donald Trump accused former Miss Universe Alicia Machado of being in a sex tape, calling her "disgusting." He's appeared in a softcore porn.
- The hair vitamins promoted by the Kardashians make "largely inaccurate" nutrient claims, according to lab tests.
- In a newly released video deposition, Trump implied he planned to call Mexicans "rapists" when he announced his presidential run.