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The Greatest Hits Of The Hulk Hogan Sex Tape

This one will kick you right in the childhood. WARNING: We've scrubbed the naughtiest bits, but salty language ahoy!

First, a third party is in the room at the beginning of the tape.

But he excuses himself to leave Hulk and (presumably the mystery man's wife) to their business.

The two begin to get comfortable but then Hulk's phone rings. His ringtone is a song by his daughter Brooke called "About Us."

He doesn't like whose name pops up on the caller ID, and ignores the call.

Then they have sex, which Hulk is reportedly good at.

As soon as they're done Hulk admits to not feeling great.

Hulk puts his "Bubba" shirt back on. It's rumored that this woman may be the ex-wife of radio DJ Bubba The Love Sponge.

But despite having sex with a beautiful woman, the Hulkster won't stop comparing himself to a pig.

Then he said this, which could mean, "boy, that was fun," but with all the "pig" talk probably means, "I feel like I'm about to puke."

But lest you think Hulk has lost it, he launches into this epic story about the twin sister of a young lady his son Nick is dating.

Hulk's not bragging! He's just can't believe it happened!

Hulk Hogan, you now have a sex tape, which means you are a REAL AMERICAN.

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