3.The "I'm not even famous, so I have to paing my face," Face
4.The "My parents were right. I should have been a CPA," Face
5.The "Shit-eating grin. Well maybe not shit, but close enough," Face
6.The "I hope this is as sexual as these photos get," Face
7.The "DAMMIT. I guess not," Face
8.The "I told Debbie Jenkins from Mrs. Williams' 10th grade Biology class that not going out with me was the biggest mistake she'd ever make. I'm sure she sees that now," Face
9.The "Please don't have a heart attack. Please don't have a heart attack," Face
10.The "Okay, I eat to fill a Debbie Jenkins shaped hole in my heart. You caught me," Face
11.The "This contest taking place on the 4th of July makes an interesting point about American gluttony and consumption," Face
12.The "I can't believe they're making me do this photo op after planning to ban large soda. What's worse a soda or 68 hot dogs forced down your gullet? Whatever, I'm Mike Fucking Bloomberg, I do what I want," Face
13.The "I can't believe toasting with hot dogs hasn't caught on yet," Face
14.The "I have to work on my badass celebration face," Face
15.The "Holy shit, did I really put all of that in my stomach? I don't think I can show my face," Face
