1. Step One: Spend most of your career as a beloved and dominant member of the Boston Red Sox.
Like say Kevin Youkilis.
3. Step Three: Show up to spring training and on the first day, say this:
Like Kevin Youkilis did.
4. Because most New Yorkers will hear this:
- Bomb threats were called into Jewish centers in at least 13 states today, making it the fifth wave of threats since January.
- "Moonlight" won Best Picture at the Oscars, but they accidentally gave it to "La La Land" first 😳
- The House Intelligence chairman denied that his call to a reporter at the behest of the White House would influence the probe of Trump and Russia.
- Philip Bilden, the businessman nominated by President Trump to be secretary of the Navy, has withdrawn himself from consideration.