1. This sound brings you immediate joy.
2. As does this one.
3. You thought it was weird they chose Jocinda to be the first player featured in the introduction.
4. You always wished you had a treehouse this awesome.
5. You hated Tin Can Alley and its lack of home runs.
6. You got in fights with your friends over what the best name combinations were.
Mighty Wombats was the best name. Beginning and end of story.
7. You still can’t believe more games haven’t adopted this “system.”
8. You knew that only an idiot would pick anyone but Pablo Sanchez first.
9. And you knew that his nickname was terrible, because there was nothing secret about it.
10. You also knew that Kiesha Phillips was by far the second best player in the game.
She could run like Rickey Henderson and hit like Reggie Jackson.
11. You always felt bad, because the other kids totally used Ernie Steele…
For his awesome back yard.
Why else would they put up with his terrible jokes? It was because of the short fence in center and home runs that land in a pool!
12. You are still completely convinced that Pete Wheeler would beat Usain Bolt in a footrace.
13. You sometimes wish the baseball team you cheer for in real life had Kenny “Greg Maddux in a wheelchair” Kawaguchi pitching for it.
14. You often wished you could break out one of the “special” pitches at one of your little league games.
15. You knew better than to pick Sidney Webber…
16. Unless you were also going to pick her twin sister Ashley.
Both Webber girls were pretty average, but put them on the same team and they were a force to be reckoned with.
17. You still feel kind of bad for Marky Dubois and his frog because it really seemed like he was homeless.
18. Jocinda Smith annoyed the crap out of you, because she was really cocky and was only like the fifth best player.
Her nickname was “MVP”? Did she give it to herself? Had these nickname-givers never seen Pablo or Keisha play?
19. You knew that if you beat the game and then hit shift while clicking on Mr. Clanky, you could use him in pick-up games.
20. And you always did, because he’s a robot who plays baseball. Only morons would turn their backs on something that cool.
21. You’ll never understand how Angela Delvecchio could be such a good pitcher but not be able to throw in the field.
What kind of mental block is this?! She can only throw on the mound?
22. You picked Angela’s older brother because he was cool. Not because he was good.
23. You made fun of your friends for turning on the “pitch locator” because they were cheating babies.
24. You still wish you could be friends with Vinnie “The Gooch.”
He is, was, and always will be the greatest announcer of all time.
25. And most importantly, it offends you to your very soul that Pablo, Ashley, and Sidney…
Look like this in the new games.
- Criticized previously for not forcefully speaking out, Donald Trump condemned anti-Semitism after bomb threats were reported at 11 Jewish centers.
- Milo Yiannopoulos has resigned from Breitbart News after he was accused of defending pedophilia in an old video.
- President Trump has named H.R. McMaster as his new national security adviser, replacing Michael Flynn who resigned last week.
- West Elm pulled the Peggy Couch from its site after years of scathing customer reviews and complaints of buttons popping off 🙈