21 Things That Have Happened To Every Brit Living In America
"No, I didn't vote for Brexit. Nice to meet you, too."
1. You think your accent is going to get you laid.
2. It does.
I'm not even good-looking.
3. Strangers imitate your accent. Badly.
We're not all straight out of Mary Poppins, y'know.
4. Someone has guessed that your accent is Australian at least once.
Oh, come on!
5. People ask you about Brexit just *moments* into meeting you.
Nice to meet you, too???
6. You legitimately get asked if you've ever met the Queen.
Take a wild guess.
7. People assume you care about "soccer."
When in doubt, mention Leicester City winning against all odds.
8. People assume your school was like Hogwarts.
No, we didn't play Quidditch.
9. In reality, it was probably more like something out of Waterloo Road.
Having a cheeky cig at breaktime was a rite of passage. None of that dementor shit.
10. It's either assumed that you're posh AF...
Pinky fingers up, dahhhhling.
11. Or that you're basically a peasant straight out of a Dickens novel.
Please, sir, can I have some more stereotyping?
12. You can't drink a cuppa without somebody telling you how English you are.
This hot cup of tea will warm up my cold, repressed British soul. Let me drink it in peace.
13. You can outdrink any American.
Those three extra years in the pub *really* paid off.
14. Somebody will say "I'm surprised you're not used to this" to you WHENEVER it rains.
Give it a break, Chad.
15. You have trouble relating to touchy-feely Americans...
Get your mitts off me.
16. And you can't stand over-friendly shop assistants.
LEAVE ME ALONE! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?
17. You don't ~get~ American telly...
Skins is ours. I mean it.
18. And American commercials baffle you.
It's no "Compare The Market" ad.
19. You still forget about tax being added to purchases.
Empty my wallet, why don't you?
20. And you resent tipping culture.
Go on then. Just take all of my money.
21. But most of all, you miss British sarcasm more than anything else in the world.
Americans are just SO good at it. 🙄