11 Ideas Philosophers REFUSE To Take Seriously

Philosophers use objective reasoning and follow the arguments where they go, right? They’d never refuse to charitably discuss an argument just because they don’t like the conclusion, right? WRONG! These off-limit topics will explode your conceptions about supposedly “open-minded” philosophers

1. rich people are better than poor people

try challenging the dominant feminist ideology that everybody has equal moral significance in favour of the hypothesis that rich people matter more. those icy stares you’re getting prove that we still have a long way to go before philosophy is a truly open-minded field

2. the universe is the turd of a bigger and scarier universe

you think philosophers will entertain any and all ideas about the ultimate nature of reality? think again! try arguing that the entire universe is the fecal excrement of a much bigger universe, and we’re like tiny bugs or something crawling on a tiny part of the turd, and see how many more conferences you get invited to

3. in favour of evil

there’s lots of philosophical work about which things are good and which things are bad, but it is just ASSUMED that good is better than evil. how many ethicists do you know who examine that preconception? where are the arguments in favour of evil?

it’s beginning to look like a lot of philosophers don’t really care about examining both sides of the issue!

4. critiques of feminism

any serious critique of feminism is also off the table. for example, you can’t threaten to kill or rape feminists, or even send unambiguous signals that they’re not welcome at your events, or you will be branded a bigot

5. Norse mythology (Marvel Comics version (Ultimate continuity))

Marvel Comics / Via scifi.stackexchange.com

you’ll find plenty of philosophers of religion offering arguments for Christianity or even atheism. but leading journals NEVER publish arguments defending the truth of the version of Norse mythology where Thor’s powers are more tech-based and he has an axe/hammer hybrid

6. consciousness nihilism

esteemed philosophers have argued for dualism, emergentism, panpsychism, and even zombies, but can you imagine what would happen to someone who argued there is no such thing as conciousness at all? no? thank you for proving our point

7. there is only one gender (male)

AMC / Via vanityfair.com

discussing in any sort of critical fashion the doctrine of gender identity is taboo in philosophy. arguing that everyone is male, without regard to their chromosomes, sexual organs, or social roles, could be a career-ender. they probably won’t even listen to your arguments, once they know that’s the conclusion you’re going towards

8. puppies are the worst

we are constantly bombarded with philosophers who love their dogs, there is even a whole blog about it. if you think puppies are disgusting vermin who deserve nothing but our scorn, our advice is to keep that opinion to yourself. the thought police are just too dangerous

9. thought leadership in Hebrew prophecy

Hillary Clinton believes in loving-kindness and Donald Trump venerates the Bible. As a world leader, the president is expected to understand a very traditional religious issue. President George Washington the Mason was a mystic. Former Apple CEO Steve Jobs could be characterized as a charismatic cult leader because he professed to experimentation with LSD, not unlike Bill Gates the dropout. Washington’s Masonry and Jobs’ cult leadership are relatable issues.

DMT is a neurotransmitter produced in the body alongside dopamine and serotonin. DMT is the body’s endogenous hallucinogen and is associated with dreaming. In breaking research, the administration of DMT produced “realer than real” out-of-body experiences, alien encounters, and realms of hell. You may have read that, but it did not sink in. New research on a hallucinogenic, dream-associated neurotransmitter explains out-of-body experiences, alien encounters, and hell. It really is as simple as a single neurotransmitter. To be less sensational, none of these things are quite like the gray aliens from a flying saucer that might have been expected. This account of hell, originally published in National Geographic Adventure magazine, is not out of the ordinary. To me, this news was as shocking as aliens on the White House lawn.

The apostle Paul in 2 Corinthians 12 experienced a vision of the “third heaven” and heard inexpressible things uncertain whether he was in the body or out of the body. That compares very well to the lyrics of Tool’s song Rosetta Stoned about being caught up to hyperspace in a DMT session: “It was so real, like I woke up in Wonderland” / “They showed me something. I don’t even know where to begin.” / “Am I alive? Am I dead?” If I may, it is my tremendous honor to welcome you to our advanced, scientific age.

When Martin Luther King Jr. delivered his speech “I Have a Dream,” audiences at the time understood that the Old Testament authorized prophets to foretell the future by dreams or by visions. Prophets foretell by dreams was understood. Dr. King was leading by dreams. That effect can be lost today. Dr. King was embraced as a prophet. If no one explained it to you, then I am your dreamer.

Please tolerate this pretense: I HAVE A DREAM! I have a dream that you discover state-of-the-art Holosync meditation for yourself. The coffee enema is its cousin. Each is quite the sensation. Holosync is meditation at the push of a button. In the name of science and Hebrew prophecy, press that button! Should you, years from now, complete the entire course of Holosync meditation, Alpha-Stim is comparable but less exciting technology. For the enema, reishi coffee is a classy touch for classy people, otherwise known as extra-strength.

Let me now christen myself as a Hebrew prophet. The concept may take a second or two. It could catch you off guard, at which point it becomes profound, your personal “thief in the night” moment. Gotcha! Gotcha! Gotcha! Does that count?

Each year NYU School of Law graduates 450 members per class. Columbia Law uptown graduates 400 members per class. In 1 Kings 18:19-40 the prophet Elijah assembles 450 by 400 false prophets, ridicules them, and has only the 450 executed. 666 - 6^3 = 450, which suggests the number is damned. In the year I graduated, the class sizes were 448 and 397 respectively.

philosophers won’t take these demonstrations seriously, no matter HOW many of them you email it to. sad.

10. in defense of slavery

Scholastic / AP / Via cbc.ca

try arguing that slavery is morally justifiable. you can imagine how those arguments could go, but we don’t think many would be willing to make them. it would be very dangerous to your career!

11. holocaust denial

we’re just asking

like, is it supposed to be a priori that it happened?

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