1. The Pecan Pie
My sex tape is just me standing in front of the open fridge, in the dark, in my underwear, eating a pecan pie with my hands.
*seductively licks pie filings in between my fingers*
2. The Snickers Bar
My sex tape is just of me trying to get the wrapper off my Snickers bar...
Oh yeah, it satisfies
3. The Grilled Cheese
My sex tape is just me pulling apart a grilled cheese in slow-mo and inserting potato chips
Literally food porn
4. The Beer Bottle
My sex tape is just me trying to open a twist-off bottle cap of beer with lotioned hands by the pool.
*beer explodes from over stimulation*
5. The Beach Day
My sex tape is just me trying to figure out how to put suntan lotion on my back.
Sex on the Beach but without the sex
6. The Peanut Butter Sandwich
My sex tape is 10 minutes of me trying to unstick a peanut butter sandwich from the roof of my mouth.
Work that tongue
7. The Peanut Butter Jar
My sex tape is just me fingering the bottom of a jar of peanut butter.
*smacks lips*
8. The Nutella Jar
My sex tape is just me licking the inside of an empty Nutella jar.
*Spells out the ABCs with tongue*
9. The Burrito
my sex tape is just me deep throating a burrito
Spit or swallow?
10. The Car Alarm
My sex tape is just a video of me trying to turn my car alarm off.
So loud the entire neighborhood hears it
11. The Covfefe
my sex tape is just three hours of covfefe
Covfefe so good, you'll figure out what it means
12. The Bank Account
My sex tape is me just yelling, 'Fuck me!' When looking at my bank account.
That's one way to get fucked
13. The Bra Crumbs
My sex tape is just me pulling my bra away from my boobs to shake out the itchy Doritos crumbs.
*shake it off*
14. The Knot
My sex tape is just me trying to untie the knot in my bathrobe.
The suspense is killing me...
15. The Electrical Outlet
My sex tape is just me failing to plug my phone in the charger repeatedly in the dark
Don't put it in the wrong hole!
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