Food·Posted on May 28, 201425 Desserts That Are Actually PunishmentThis can't be happening. Fruit for dessert? No no no no no no no no no no no.by Joanna BornsBuzzFeed StaffFacebookPinterestTwitterMailLink 1. Fruit Pizza noemptychairs.me This lacks a fundamental understanding of what pizza is. Anyone who can call this "pizza" should be thrown in jail. If anyone tries to serve you fruit pizza, that's a major red flag and you should consider cutting them out of your life forever. 2. Anything With Raisins in It iamsimplytia.com Everybody knows that raisins are the devil's candy. Adding raisins is the fastest way to take a dish from edible to never-ending sadness. 3. Black Licorice licoricecandytwist.com While most desserts lend themselves to healthy debate, you'd be hard-pressed to find a single person who doesn't think this tastes like poison. 4. Rice Pudding Thinkstock Rice pudding had ONE job to do: Don't resemble larvae of any kind. And it blew it. It totally blew it. 5. Baked Apples Thinkstock Whose idea was this? Someone was like, "Mmmm, you know what sounds good? Hot apples." 6. Biscotti bowlofmush.blogspot.com These could easily be used as weapons. That alone should disqualify them from dessert. Humans don't even really have the jaw strength to bite into a biscotti. You'd need a lion or a bear to make a dent in one of these and even then they probably wouldn't even want it. 7. Sorbet piccantedolce.blogspot.com What is the point of this? Stop wasting everyone's time, sorbet. YOU'LL NEVER BE ICE CREAM. NOBODY WANTS YOU. 8. Candy Corn Thinkstock Candy corn tastes like a mistake. 9. Assortment of Hard Little Cookies Thinkstock These sirens have tricked you too many times. They look pretty and festive stacked on a platter. Deep down in your heart you know they taste like hard, crumbly garbage. But maybe this time it can be different. Maybe just once they will taste good. You fool. They will never taste good. 10. Peanut Brittle Thinkstock This is great if you're just tired of having teeth and don't want them anymore. 11. Macarons Thinkstock The problem with macarons is not their taste so much as the way they taunt you with their fanciness. They rub their fanciness right in your face. They think they're better than you, or rather, they know they're better than you. "I represent a luxurious lifestyle you could never possibly achieve," the macarons whisper. Those little bastards. 12. Apple Crisp blog.seasonwithspice.com Why couldn't you just be apple pie? You know what, don't answer that. Because you'll never be an apple pie. You'll always be a sorry disappointment, like an apple pie got drunk, barfed everywhere, left, and then the next morning what you discover is apple crisp. 13. Jelly Donuts recipemash.com There's a reason why going to the fridge, taking out a jar of jelly, and pouring it directly into your mouth isn't a common practice. A jelly explosion in your mouth is just not an experience a reasonable person desires. 14. Candy Canes Flickr: calliope Does anyone actually enjoy these? Has anyone ever fully consumed one? 15. Jell-O light-in-leaves.blogspot.com Contrary to popular belief, foods that wiggle are not crowd pleasers. Jell-O can be fun, but if this is what you're serving for dessert, it means you're not taking it seriously. You think dessert is just some big joke. 16. Frozen Bananas bakedbree.com No. A chocolate banana can seem appealing but when you actually try to eat it, you basically freeze your mouth off. And then you're left holding this stupid banana.Are there any TV shows that could be referenced here? Hmmm nothing comes to mind. 17. Candied Apples chicaandjo.com This is definitely a solid concept. A+ concept. But how do you eat this? How in the hell do you eat something like this? It's simply not possible. You cannot eat a candied apple without humiliating yourself and bringing shame to your family. 18. Anything Maple sweetandsavorytooth.com Just ew. 19. Fruit Cake figjamandlimecordial.com The ultimate cliché in undesired dessert. 20. Custard Thinkstock Any dessert that can be described as "eggy goo" already has one strike. 21. Ambrosia Salad bakinginthesun.com This (somehow?) walks the line between dessert and side dish, but it still manages to be the stuff of nightmares. Everyone's favorite salad topping is maraschino cherries. And there's really nothing more refreshing or necessary than combining Cool Whip with marshmallows. Person who invented this, WHY DID YOU DO THIS? 22. Taffy cdkitchen.com "Hey, would you like a piece of saltwater taffy?" No. The answer is always no. Sometimes if you can nab a chocolate one, it's almost like you're eating something worthwhile. But even then, you're only eating chewy disappointment. 23. Meringues Thinkstock A layperson might think this is fancy French chalk that children are given to draw with on a chalkboard. Wrong! Surprise — it's food! 24. Oreos Flickr: derekgavey Look, Oreos are great when added to other desserts. But on their own? It's just a dry, hard cookie with gunk in the middle. Let's say you're not allowed to dip it in milk — would you even want it? A delicious food should not require a moistening agent. 25. Fruit Plate Flickr: moria There's nothing wrong with fruit, but as a dessert, it's a huge slap in the face.