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1. A matte foundation that comes in a vast array of shades.
2. A night cream with retinol (aka the chemical Time-Turner).
3. A versatile eyeshadow palette that can take your face from "no-makeup makeup" to "Studio 54" all by itself.
4. A toner that's perfect for acne-prone skin, dry skin, sensitive skin... basically all the skins.
5. A moisturizing lip tint with a name that it's better not to think about too hard tbh.
6. A charcoal face wash that will free your pores...from the tyranny of sebum, I guess?
7. A daily cleanser that's gimmick-free and super gentle.
8. A long-lasting eyeliner that's more stubborn than you are.
9. An eyebrow kit that will define sparse brows even on a sparse budget.
10. A cream eyeliner that's hyper-pigmented for high-drama eyes.
11. A pore-minimizing primer that will make your skin look just indefinably better.
12. A very waterproof mascara that keeps your lashes soft (and attached to your face).
13. A highlighting stick that will make your face a celestial event.
14. A cleanser/makeup remover that's perfect for anyone who hates washing their face (✋).
15. A makeup sponge so good that it transcends its "dupe" label.
16. A natural lipstick that's perfect for people with ingredient sensitivities.
17. A non-drying lip gloss, because lip gloss is back and we all need to do our best to accept that.
18. A matte finishing spray that will keep makeup in place and shine off your face.
19. Waterproof eyeshadow that will make your lids look like precious jewels.
20. A minty mask that will suck the excess oil from your skin.
21. Body lotion that you can use in the shower, because this is 2017 and we have the technology.
22. A lip crayon that makes it easy to stay inside the lines.
23. A highly pigmented blush that will give you a Champagne glow on a beer budget.
24. A nipple cream that's secretly amazing for chapped lips.
25. A natural-looking bronzer that will leave you looking sun-kissed, not glitter-licked.
26. A moisturizing facial oil that will convert even the most skeptical of facial oil skeptics.
I did not wake up like this.
The reviews for this post have been edited for length and clarity.