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I Want To Know The Most Ridiculous Description Of A Woman You've Ever Read In A Book

Apparently breasts can both smile and be startled.

Have you ever been reading a book and come across a description of a woman that's so terrible it makes you wonder if the author has actually ever met a woman?

Michael Bluth asking, "Has anyone in this family ever even seen a chicken?" except it says woman instead of chicken

Descriptions like this exist — trust me.

I mean, "Her large breasts rippled in appreciation" is a real sentence from an actual book.

And so is "She has breasts that smile."

And hey, did you know boobs could get "startled"?

What are some of the worst descriptions of women that you've seen penned by men? Sound off in the comments for a chance to be featured in a BuzzFeed Community post!