If you've ever been told to lose weight by a family member before a big event, boy do I have a great story for you.
Olive Chiemerie of Nigeria shared on Twitter that she was recently given an ultimatum — lose weight, or there would be no place for her as a maid of honor in her cousin's wedding. However, instead of giving into this demand, Olive decided she would steer clear of the wedding altogether.
My closest cousin, the closest thing I have to a sibling, has officially confirmed I won't be her maid of honour cos I'm just too fat for a maid of honour role. Have to lose some weight before December or no maid of honour duties for me. I shan't be attending the wedding ✌🏾
"My family will swear I'm wicked and no nonsense cos I reward meanness with the same level of vim," Olive tweeted.
My family will swear I'm wicked and no nonsense cos I reward meanness with the same level of vim. Begging me to attend for what? So I'd damage the aesthetics ? Nah, I'll stay home, press my phone all day, happy married life Couz!
I know! I was shocked by those tweets and I was dying to know more, so I spoke with Olive to hear more about what she had to say — and y’all, you’re gonna want to sit down for this.
"For context, this cousin and I are both only children, but we grew up in the same home, raised by her mum, my dad, our other auntie and our grandma," Olive told BuzzFeed. "In essence, we're sisters, the closest thing each of us came to a sibling."
"So I guess going by the bond I thought we shared, I naturally assumed I'd be her maid of honor. It was supposed to be non-negotiable, but she didn't ask me. I also didn't want to have to ask her, I firmly believed it'd be me," she continued.
"The conversation came up last week while we and our mutual friend were discussing wedding details. She said she's still contemplating which of her light-skinned, slim friends to ask to be maid of honor."
"I was stunned. Our mutual friend was stunned too. What??? She said yes, she doesn't want me because I am fat and would ruin the maid of honor aesthetics — that it's usually slender, light-skinned girls who gets to be maid of honor. I felt insulted. Our friend said she felt insulted on my behalf too."
"If it was that she felt she had a friend she was closer with whom she shared a bond much greater than the one we did, I'd understand because of course, that we're related shouldn't be the sole determinant — but it was only just about the aesthetics."
"I told her I wouldn’t be attending the wedding because — if she felt so ashamed of and embarrassed by me — who’s to say my presence alone wouldn’t destroy the wedding aesthetics? She said I was overreacting because it really wasn't that deep, that it was her choice to make."
"Of course it was her choice to make. I just thought [me being the maid of honor] was an obvious choice. Perhaps it's my bad to assume?"
"I should add that I wasn't particularly enthused by the maid of honor part, I wasn't overly looking forward to it, my angst and hurt isn't because I don't get to be maid of honor, I'm not upset about that. It’s the fact that she not only didn’t think me worthy, but she also doesn’t realize or understand why it hurt me."
People in the comments had a lot to say about the matter.
@Zioraife That's just unnecessarily cruel. Sorry this is happening to you. I don't know why weddings bring out the worst in some people. At least now you know how she's always felt about you.
Most people did not approve of the cousin's ultimatum and were supportive of Olive's decision to not attend the wedding.
@Zioraife The "perfect" wedding to many people simply means a self-absorbed vanity show. "My day". Don't budge. Don't go that wedding no matter what.
Some were able to relate on a personal level and shared similar stories.
@Zioraife I had a similar situation. I still went to the wedding. People kept saying to me, "I thought you would be the MOH" or "why aren't you MOH?" And I just said she wanted someone thinner. It reflected more on her and I enjoyed the food that was served and I looked great!! ❤️
And others had even revealed that they were asked to be a maid of honor for superficial reasons, further reinforcing the point that some brides may care too much about the wrong thing.
@Zioraife I got picked for maid of honor for someone I wasn't even close to because I was the right complexion and height she wanted. She had a younger sister that could play the role but she didn't qualify for the aesthetics. Brides are such sensitive creatures.
Olive said that after she had shared her story on Twitter, many people DM'd her, affirming her decision and sharing similar situations.
She said she'd like to thank everyone who did so. "I feel validated and understood. I want more fat women to realize that the bodies the media and fashion industries keep shoving in our faces as perfect and ideal are largely highly unrealistic, plus we can't all have the same slender body build."
She also added that many people DM'd her with compliments about her beauty, and some had even asked her on dates on the wedding day.
"It's all been incredibly heartwarming, but it's hilarious. All I tweeted was that I was told I couldn't be maid of honor because I was fat. Nowhere did it say I was ugly or unattractive."
"But I don't think that assumption of my self-esteem being assaulted was unfounded, because fat women have always been made to feel inadequate, leading to their self-esteem being in shambles."
"That's fortunately not true in my case. I'm gorgeous. It's not something I say because 'body positivity,' I am actually gorgeous gorgeous. I think my body is exquisite, and I carry myself elegantly knowing this."
