Earlier this week, I saw a post on the Am I the Asshole? subreddit about a conflict that arose from a wedding dress, and I found it to be veryyyyy interesting...
Basically, a woman decided not to wear the wedding dress her mother-in-law wanted and it's caused a bit of a rift in the family. Here's the full story, as told by the woman, u/aita-wedding12345:
"I recently got married to the love of my life, J. We had a perfect wedding, except for one thing: my MIL’s freakout when she saw my dress. When we had gone dress shopping, I invited her and I found my perfect dress."
"My husband's family has a tradition of always wearing blush dresses on their wedding day. They told me about this before and I respectfully said I would wear whatever color dress my perfect dress was. Once I finally found it, it was white."
"MIL asked me to ask if they could alter it to make it blush or to find a new dress if they couldn't. I said I would ask but if they couldn't, then that was that."
"Long story short, they couldn't and I showed up to my wedding in a white dress. All through the ceremony, MIL was seething. During the reception, she pulled me aside and asked why my dress was white. I told her that I didn't want to find a new dress and they couldn't alter it."
"She said it was a tradition and she was disappointed that I had broken it. J also said that he was disappointed when I walked down the aisle in a white dress."
"Was I the asshole for this? I could have just changed my dress."
The woman then added some context about her husband's family tradition.
"Apparently, J's great-great-great-grandma wore white and she died right after, and there were some other deaths in the family associated with wearing white on your wedding day. But J's great-great-great-great-aunt wore blush and she had a long happy marriage with lots of children and didn't die until she was 90 or something, IDK really."
I don't know about y'all but I definitely had my own opinions about the husband and the mother-in-law after reading that.
And it seemed like most of Reddit did too. The majority of people in the comments told the wife that she was not the asshole in this instance, including one person who goes by u/sharp-Yarn:
"Not the asshole. Tell your husband if he wanted someone in blush so bad, HE should have worn it. It's HIS family tradition, not yours."
Another person who goes by u/pinkorangegold concurred and proposed another possible compromise:
"If this is such a thing, he could've gotten her a lovely blush accessory like a hairpiece or some flowers in the bouquet or a sash or something," they said.
"There are so many ways to welcome OP into the family and this tradition without forcing her to wear a blush dress (which is not even a color all women look good in or are comfortable in, as it's not a neutral)."
Someone else with the username u/slimedewnautica brought up another great point:
"Not the asshole. Your mother-in-law is, massively. And your husband is too, for not backing you up," they said.
"Also, you could hit back and say that your family has a tradition of wearing white."
And finally, someone who goes by u/Lovingbutdifferent stepped into the wife's shoes and said they'd leave the husband altogether:
“If I walk down the aisle and find out my fiancé is ‘disappointed,’ I’m holding another big ceremony, walking down the aisle in the exact same dress he wants, and then letting him find out it’s an annulment ceremony instead.”