This Unemployed Husband Refused To Pay Back $1,000 To His Wife Because They Are "Married," And People Have Big Opinions

"He said that I shouldn't expect it back since we're married and my money is technically his."

There's a subreddit called r/AmItheAsshole, and it always has me like:

Giphy / Via giphy.com

In case you are unfamiliar with the subreddit, it's basically where people post about their interpersonal conflicts, and then other users can vote on who the "asshole" is in that particular situation.

Recently, a wife wondered if she was an asshole for demanding that her unemployed husband pay her back after he spent $1,000 on massage sessions, and I MUST know what your thoughts are.

Here's the situation as told by the wife, u/throwPricematter1:

"My husband (33) and I (31) used to have a two-income home, but in 2020 we lost our home and one of our incomes (his). We moved into a smaller apartment and had to sell many things and give up most of our 'costly' habits.

Jamie Grill / Getty Images/Tetra images RF

"My husband has an expensive habit of going to the spa for a weekly massage session. We live in an urban area, so this stuff is ridiculously expensive. A single session is $250, and he has to have it every week, so that's nearly $1,000 a month! I suggested he have his session at a regular spa, but no, he has to get it from that luxurious spa near the restaurant we used to go to, saying the lady who gives the massage is an expert and he's used to her.

Miniseries / Getty Images

"The problem is, I'm the only income earner and I'm struggling to make ends meet. I'm also pregnant and need to save money to prepare a nursery. I told him to cut his sessions, but he refused. I told him I won't be paying for them anymore, and he said he'd get the money himself.

Oscar Wong / Getty Images

"Yesterday I checked and saw that he's been using my credit card for his sessions for a whole month, and it had maxed out completely. I found that out when I went shopping for baby essentials and the cashier said I had no money. I had to return everything, then went home and went off on him.

Saravutvanset / Getty Images/RooM RF

"I told him he maxed my card out and made me look like an idiot at the store, and he said he didn't tell me 'cause he knew I'd have an issue with it. I demanded he pay back the $1,000 he spent, but he refused. I yelled at him, calling him irresponsible. He got upset and called me selfish, telling me to stop playing the victim, and saying that this is affecting both of us, since he's going to be a parent too. He said it's stressful for him and I keep dismissing his needs as a human.

Witthaya Prasongsin / Getty Images

"I went upstairs and he went out. He started giving me the silent treatment, but I kept demanding the money back. He said that I shouldn't expect it back since we're married and my money is technically his, and I should stop using his unemployment against him."

After reading that, I am speechless...

Harpo Productions / Via giphy.com

The people of Reddit, however, definitely had some things to say about the situation. Nearly everyone agreed that the wife was not the asshole for demanding that her husband pay her back.

"I’d check all my credit cards and I’d run a credit report. It’s possible he may have opened new credit cards in your name too. I’d also lock my cards.

"He’s really selfish. I worry for you and your baby!" — said u/catsmom63.

Someone else, who goes by u/teresajs, agreed that the wife was not the asshole, and brought up a few points:

"He stole from you to buy a luxury. Immediately cut him off from all access to your money and credit. Don't give him any money at all. And seriously reconsider living with him, since he steals from you.

"Also, is there any chance that this 'spa' treatment actually involves him paying for sex? Because there's something that feels off about all this..."

Another user, who goes by u/noblestromana, agreed that there was definitely something fishy about the situation.

"I hate to jump to conclusions, but there's definitely something off here. No one needs a professional weekly $250 massage at the one specific place with a specific person to the point where they are willing to steal $1,000 from their pregnant spouse and unborn child," they said.

"He's either getting sex out of it or drugs or something else."

Many people were also skeptical about the price of the husband's massage.

"Yeah, I live in a ridiculously expensive urban area, and it's about $125 for a one-hour massage," u/anathema_deviced said.

One user who identified as a sex worker chimed in to verify that the price of the massage seemed similar to what she would charge.

"I am a sex worker (legally in a brothel), and my husband gets a two-hour massage every week from a massage therapist. One hour with me is $350. One hour with the massage therapist is $60. Take from that what you will," u/ADuckNamedPhil said.

What do you think? Let me know in the comments!

Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.