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    Can You Get Through This Post Without Spending $50?

    A cat-collar shirt, squeezable pea pod, and stripping sloth: How far can *you* get without buying something?

    Jeff Barron / BuzzFeed

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    Welcome to another edition of “Can You Get Through This Post Without Spending $50?”

    I am your host, Jeff. I’m back yet again this week for the second time in a row! The game is simple. Try to make it through this entire post without buying something.

    Don’t plan to buy anything? That’s OK! Stay and enjoy my groanworthy jokes! I italicize each pun for maximum cringe.

    Come up with a better pun? Post in the comments! I DO READ ALL THE COMMENTS!


    1. A shirt with a sleeping cat around the collar for adorning your neck in cute comfort.

    Cat collar?! I hardly know her!

    Get it from Amazon for $18 (available in sizes S to XL and in more ~cattier~ colors, pink and navy).

    2. A neck support pillow to stop your head from flopping around while traveling.

    So that sleeping won't be such a plane in the neck.

    Get it from Amazon for $19.

    3. A seductive enamel pin your friends will want to steal from you.

    With this you'll be a...Newman. Or newwoman. I don't know who you are on the internet.

    Get it from Amazon for $10.

    4. A USB flash drive that displays how much space is left on it.

    You might say these USB you crazy?

    Get it from Amazon for $15 (available in 16/32/64 GB).

    5. A stripping-sloth T-shirt to bewilder and intrigue you.

    For when you get slothed on the weekends.

    Get it from Amazon for $25 (available in sizes S to 3XL).

    6. A folding chair with an integrated cooler pouch to keep your Capri Suns at the perfect temperature., WWO / Via

    It's literally a cool chair.

    Get it from Amazon for $24 (available in black, gray, blue, and red).

    7. Potato skewers that'll have your spuds baked and given an occupation.

    I yam pretty sure potatoes can't hold jobs like these.

    Get them from Amazon for $7.

    8. A shark mug with a cookie compartment to keep them warm.

    I really have to hammer in these bite-sized pun.

    Get it from LennyMud on Etsy for $16.

    9. Shelves that'll turn your favorite books into hangable works of art.

    Best to use books that will leave you hanging.

    Get them from Amazon $28.

    10. A sling toilet paper stand that can also hold your magazines and books.

    Perfect for any living shit-uation.

    Get it from Amazon for $25.

    11. A squeezable edamame pea pod you can pop endlessly.

    This is the pea-k of keychain toys.

    Get it from Amazon for $10.

    I did a whole post on things you can fidget with that you can find here.

    12. A hedgehog table brush that's bristlingly cute.

    I don't see what the point is of it being hedgehog shaped, but I'm glad it is.

    Get it from Amazon for $14.

    13. A wood paper towel holder for making tearing off a single sheet easier.

    It makes for a tearable experience.

    Get it from Amazon for $37.

    14. A narwhal night-light to spear you with cuteness.

    Seems gnarly.

    Get it from Amazon for $17 (available in purple, pink, and white).

    15. Cat-butt coasters that are nothing butt cute.

    I've heard of rump roasts, but this is just ridiculous.

    Get them from BrenleyCreations on Etsy for $12.

    16. A superhero bookend to save your novels from peril.

    Keeps all your superhero graphic novels from flying off.

    Get it from Amazon for $29.

    17. A hot-dog-dog mug that's not subtle at all in its meaning.

    But if you get two of them you might break the universe. It'll be a para-dachs.

    Get it from FourLetterWordCards on Etsy for $20.

    Here is where we part ways.

    But there is always last week's edition that you can find here.

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