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Welcome to another edition of “Can You Get Through This Post Without Spending $50?”
The game is simple. Try to make it through this entire post without buying something.
Don’t plan to buy anything? That’s OK! Stay and enjoy my groanworthy jokes! I italicize each pun for maximum cringe, AND BECAUSE I WOULD REALLY HATE IT IF YOU DIDN'T KNOW WHAT I WAS GETTING AT. If we had the ability to highlight words at BuzzFeed, I would.
Come up with a better pun? Post in the comments! I DO READ ALL THE COMMENTS, EVEN THE COMMENTS FROM PEOPLE WHO SERIOUSLY HATE ON THIS POST! And it's ok. I write this series to have fun and don't take it personally.
DANGER! THERE MIGHT BE SOME PUNS AHEAD! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! GOOD LUCK, ALL! 😀
1. This Monty Python Silly Walk watch that'll tell you the time with legs that appear to break themselves every hour.
2. A plush Mario coin box with a storage compartment to hold all your mushrooms and fire flowers.
3. This magnetic stove shelf sticks onto your range to create more space.
4. A set of rug corners to stop that curling bullshit they do after awhile.
5. These sequin pillows with a satisfying texture that lets you draw on them.
6. This pack of sand coasters to hold your precious snacks and drinks away from the grit.
7. A set of YogaToes to help you fight hammer toe and other types of foot pain while doing your daily routine.
8. These flavored toothpicks to add a lasting touch after a satisfying meal.
9. This library kit for the bibliophile who loves to keep track of their book lending.
10. These cute correction tape pens to charmingly cover your mistakes.
11. This magnetic drawing board that'll add a tactile dimension to your art.
12. A grocery bag dispenser to sort out that huge collection you have taking up your drawers.
13. This set of interlocking discs that'll allow you to make all sorts of sculptures and scenes.
14. A silicone shower organizer for holding your toothbrush, razor, and small articles for safe keeping.
15. This steel compost bin with a charcoal filter to keep the smell down from your kitchen scraps.
16. This canvas and leather toiletry bag that'll hold it all and look sharp as fuck.
17. A small trailer hitch vault you can use to hide keys or other valuables.
While we have reached the end, it's important that the spirit of the post carries on in pin form:
