Welcome to another edition of “Can You Get Through This Post Without Spending $50?”
The game is simple. Try to make it through this entire post without buying something.
Don’t plan to buy anything? That’s OK! Stay and enjoy my groanworthy jokes! I italicize each pun for maximum cringe, AND BECAUSE I WOULD REALLY HATE IT IF YOU DIDN'T KNOW WHAT I WAS GETTING AT. If we had the ability to highlight words at BuzzFeed, I would.
Come up with a better pun? Post in the comments! I DO READ ALL THE COMMENTS, EVEN THE COMMENTS FROM PEOPLE WHO SERIOUSLY HATE ON THIS POST! And it's ok. I write this series to have fun and don't take it personally.
DANGER! THERE MIGHT BE SOME PUNS AHEAD! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! GOOD LUCK, ALL! 😀