Between 1979 and 1990, McDonald's published a magazine called McDonaldland Fun Times.
Its tagline claimed that it was "A Magazine Especially For Children". But that's assuming that all children love incredibly scary close-ups of a clown's face.
Because more often then not, the covers of these magazines featured McDonald's mascot Ronald McDonald. And let's just say he didn't come off as particularly...inviting.
See what I mean?
Don't look directly into the eyes, children. You'll see forever.
On this cover, Ronald and his friend, Horrible Bird Woman, swell to massive proportions and threaten to attack a defenseless mill town.
For a special Halloween edition of McDonaldland Fun Times, Ronald brutally carves into a smiling pumpkin as his audience watches on, aghast.
In this issue, Ronald appears to be pulling some cruel prank on a bunch of imaginary screaming creatures, as well as Scientist Jesus?
Here, Ronald further exhibits his seemingly boundless powers, creating energy and matter from thin air with the simple will of his mind.
And what magazine would be complete without a Hunting Defenseless Wildlife edition?
This bunny knows exactly what's about to happen.
This gopher is like, "I want to run but I am frozen in terror."
Meanwhile, Ronald's never been happier.
And this mop with olive eyes is doing a little silent scream, questioning its own existence.
On the June/July issue of 1984, Ronald showed off his immense strength so that he may instill fear in the hearts of his enemies and also an eagle dressed like America.
I honestly don't know what the fuck this is.
Or this.
What the...?
Looking good, Ron!
Is he simultaneously breaking someone's leg while cutting off another person's oxygen supply? Serious what are his hands doing?
A huge, unyielding smile.
Let's be honest: this is Ronald's world, and we're all just lucky to live in it.
