1.
I don't care if Voldemort kills them all, I just want a version of HP where Hermione refuses to do Ron and Harry's homework for them
2.
My phone changed the word "horcruxes" to "hot dudes" like it wishes I were cool and popular and not an adult tweeting about Harry Potter.
3.
I look like Harry Potter if instead of going to wizard school, he just kept living under the stairs
4.
Ever since the Harry Potter movies wrapped, life has been hard for the Sorting Hat
5.
everyone in harry potter treated that blonde girl like she was crazy for believing in weird shit like they didn't go to wizard high school
6.
Me: when is dinner ready? Dad: will you wait! Me: I DID MY WAITING Dad: oh god Me: TWELVE YEARS OF IT Dad: not again Me: IN AZKABAN
7.
kylie jenner bought a house at 17?? harry potter saved the wizarding world and destroyed voldemort at 17
8.
JUST REALIZED THAT EVE WAS A PARSELTONGUE.
9.
"Avada kedavra!" shouted Voldemort, instantly killing Lily Potter and her infant son. The End --George R.R. Martin's Harry Potter
10.
One thing a lot of people don't realize about Harry Potter is that yes, he's a wizard, but what's more, he's a friend
11.
DUMBLEDORE: Now, give a warm welcome to our new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, Lucifer Serpentine HARRY: I bet this dude is great
12.
Harry Potter had a spell for defogging his glasses but not for eliminating the need for glasses
13.
Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: I'm shaking hands with Dumbledore, I've won the House Cup.
14.
*jk rowling wakes up* what’s today’s tweet *spins large bingo cage* hagrid… is… pansexual and… he later joined isis
15.
"If anyone knows a reason why these two should not marry, speak n-" SHE THOUGHT GANDALF & DUMBLEDORE WERE THE SAME PERSON *priest vomits*
16.
Call me when Serious Rowling writes a book.
17.
Harry Potter's grandkids will probably get super uptight when he just throws the word "muggle" around like it's the early 2000's.
18.
I knew Kim Kardashian's new hairstyle looked familiar
19.
Dear people who question why girls go to the bathroom together, Hermione went alone and got attacked by a troll.
20.
2159 people have died running into walls at train stations since the Harry Potter series began.
21.
Google is still in denial
22.
when i read harry potter in school i identified with harry, but now reading it as an adult, i fear i may be the girl who cries in the toilet
23.
ME: any advice DAD: its ok to embellish a little [later at job interview] INTERVIEWER: tell me about yourself M: i wrote harry potter
24.
Gryffindor: Do what is right Ravenclaw: Do what is wise Hufflepuff: Do what is kind Slytherin: PUT A FUCKING BASILISK IN THE CASTLE
25.
Harry Potter wakes up in hospital. "Welcome back. You've been in a coma for 8 years" says the doctor. "You ran face first into a wall lmao"
26.
how did harry potter get down the hill? walking jk rowling
27.
At the height of sexual passion, yell into his ear, “TEN POINTS FOR GRYFFINDOR”
28.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how much do you love harry potter
29.
"Yer a wizard Harry" I know "No yerra gizzard Larry" Hagrid you're drunk "YOOURA WOZZEERBAREY" STOP! *Hagrid falls over, whispers* Yrawzdhry