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17 Hilarious Tweets About Columbus Day

In 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue so you could make these jokes.

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1.

In honor of #ColumbusDay, take this tweet, put your own name on it, then erase mine.

2.

You've got to hand it to Christopher Columbus, because he would have definitely taken it anyway & then murdered you

3.

*sees someone drop their wallet* ME: This is mine. I discovered it THEM: what no ME *stabs them* Columbus Day rules COP: dang he's right

4.

Oh sure, make fun of Columbus. Like you've never gone to the grocery store for spices, gotten lost, then murdered several million people.

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5.

Happy "This Dude Came Over And Pointed Out What Was Already Here" Day #ColumbusDay

6.

As a man, I honor Christopher Columbus every day of the year by refusing to ask for directions.

7.

in fourteen-hundred and ninety-two, columbus was a genocidal piece of shit and an asshole too

8.

"Go Redskins!" - Christopher Columbus, 1492.

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9.

the only thing Christopher Columbus ever discovered was Daniel Radcliffe.

10.

#ColumbusDay has become like that drunk Uncle everyone is ashamed of #TeamDl

11.

Christopher Columbus did not sail the ocean blue for me to still have school

12.

Had Christopher Columbus known Kim Kardashian would one day have 24 million Twitter followers, I'm pretty sure he would have turned around.

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13.

Only 1490's kids will remember this *sails from Europe and destroys an indigenous population*

14.

In honor of #ColumbusDay I have discovered my neighbors house. Also slaughtered him and his family. I was trying to get to the grocery store

15.

Remember kids, you get today off from school because Christopher Columbus got lost. #ColumbusDay

16.

When Christopher Columbus hands you the aux cord

17.

I refuse to write a Columbus Day tweet. Each of my tweets should work on any day that theyre read. They should feel immediate, yet timeless.