You might know R.L. Stine as the author of the books that gave you nightmares as a kid (Goosebumps), but you might not know he's also one of the funniest people on Twitter.
1. On why you should buy his books:
Interesting statistic: If you all bought 1 Goosebumps book a month, it would be enough books to reach from here to my bank.
2. On his birthday:
Thanks, all, for the wonderful birthday greetings. They say you're only as old as you feel. So I'm only 95!
3. On his "Kickstarter":
My Kickstarter to buy myself a nice steak dinner tonight is only $20 away from its goal. Come on, people!
4. On twerking:
My twerking class was canceled this morning. Most of the others have dropped out. Now how will I start my day?
5. On socks:
Why do I rent my socks? It just seems easier that way.
6. On his 10-year-old self:
R. L. Stine, ten years old. Already a fashion plate.
7. On Christmas:
Isn't this Christmas morning? Why are you on Twitter.
8. On his bucket list:
Buying a new bucket is on my bucket list.
9. On his grandson:
Kids grow so fast. My grandson is three and has already grown a second head.
10. On his ancestry:
I received my report from https://t.co/Bop9lJiPcD today, and it says I was hatched.
11. On a "sale" for his book:
Hurry! One day only!! Pay full-price for the newest Goosebumps book.
12. And this one:
Deal of the Day: Pay full price for the new Goosebumps book, and you will receive a copy of the book.
13. On his inspiration:
Daily Inspiration
14. On the solar eclipse:
I'm not taking any chances. I'm listening to the eclipse on the radio.
15. On the Jets:
Question: Should I keep watching the Jets week after week, or should I shove two pencils through my nostrils into my brain?
16. On his nighttime rituals:
So many people ask me why I keep my head locked in a safe at night. But wouldn't you?
17. On this Santa Claus:
Memories: Dad was only trying to get in the Christmas spirit, but we wished he wouldn't try so hard.
18. On the University of Southern Ohio:
Did you know that the University of Southern Ohio now offers a course in Manspreading?
19. On the Giants:
I predict the Giants will score a touchdown sometime this year.
20. On the "true meaning of Labor Day":
As we think of the true meaning of Labor Day, let's remember to buy a copy of my new picture book.
21. On airplanes:
Do you think it was fair that I was pulled off my flight just for yodeling?
22. On his "dog Fluffy":
Remembering our dog Fluffy on Veterans Day. Dad trained him well. He never left the back yard, but he got his share… https://t.co/GKqjzDRrmG
23. On New York:
I'm so glad I live in New York City and not in the United States.
24. On his new "puppy":
Princess, our new rescue puppy, loves the snow. At the rescue center, they told us she's a shepherd-collie mix. We… https://t.co/VFNIxOQH3a
25. On television:
Is there anything on TV tonight?
26. On hosting a BBQ for his followers:
Hey, I hit 200,000 followers today. To celebrate, I invite you all over to my place for a barbecue. When can you make it?
Check out the R.L. Stine author page at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or at IndieBound for a list of local booksellers.
😂👏
