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26 Times "Goosebumps" Author R.L. Stine Was The Funniest Person On Twitter

"Interesting statistic: If you all bought 1 Goosebumps book a month, it would be enough books to reach from here to my bank."

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You might know R.L. Stine as the author of the books that gave you nightmares as a kid (Goosebumps), but you might not know he's also one of the funniest people on Twitter.

1. On why you should buy his books:

Interesting statistic: If you all bought 1 Goosebumps book a month, it would be enough books to reach from here to my bank.

2. On his birthday:

Thanks, all, for the wonderful birthday greetings. They say you're only as old as you feel. So I'm only 95!

3. On his "Kickstarter":

My Kickstarter to buy myself a nice steak dinner tonight is only $20 away from its goal. Come on, people!

4. On twerking:

My twerking class was canceled this morning. Most of the others have dropped out. Now how will I start my day?

5. On socks:

Why do I rent my socks? It just seems easier that way.

6. On his 10-year-old self:

R. L. Stine, ten years old. Already a fashion plate.

7. On Christmas:

Isn't this Christmas morning? Why are you on Twitter.

8. On his bucket list:

Buying a new bucket is on my bucket list.

9. On his grandson:

Kids grow so fast. My grandson is three and has already grown a second head.

10. On his ancestry:

I received my report from today, and it says I was hatched.

11. On a "sale" for his book:

Hurry! One day only!! Pay full-price for the newest Goosebumps book.

12. And this one:

Deal of the Day: Pay full price for the new Goosebumps book, and you will receive a copy of the book.

13. On his inspiration:

14. On the solar eclipse:

I'm not taking any chances. I'm listening to the eclipse on the radio.

15. On the Jets:

Question: Should I keep watching the Jets week after week, or should I shove two pencils through my nostrils into my brain?

16. On his nighttime rituals:

So many people ask me why I keep my head locked in a safe at night. But wouldn't you?

17. On this Santa Claus:

Memories: Dad was only trying to get in the Christmas spirit, but we wished he wouldn't try so hard.

18. On the University of Southern Ohio:

Did you know that the University of Southern Ohio now offers a course in Manspreading?

19. On the Giants:

I predict the Giants will score a touchdown sometime this year.

20. On the "true meaning of Labor Day":

As we think of the true meaning of Labor Day, let's remember to buy a copy of my new picture book.

21. On airplanes:

Do you think it was fair that I was pulled off my flight just for yodeling?

22. On his "dog Fluffy":

Remembering our dog Fluffy on Veterans Day. Dad trained him well. He never left the back yard, but he got his share…

23. On New York:

I'm so glad I live in New York City and not in the United States.

24. On his new "puppy":

Princess, our new rescue puppy, loves the snow. At the rescue center, they told us she's a shepherd-collie mix. We…

25. On television:

26. On hosting a BBQ for his followers:

Hey, I hit 200,000 followers today. To celebrate, I invite you all over to my place for a barbecue. When can you make it?

Check out the R.L. Stine author page at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or at IndieBound for a list of local booksellers.


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