What Your Choice Of Crisps Says About You

Are you coddled? Ill? Indecisive or a fascist? Your choice of potato chips will tell all.

Kettle Chips

Via kettlefoods.co.uk

You think you like the finer things in life. You pretend you can taste wine and think you're above politics. You once cried because Waitrose had run out of manchego cheese. You're going to raise your kids on a diet of organic olives, kombucha tea and breast milk.

Pombears

Via directdrinks.net

Loud noises unsettle you and you refuse to read the Harry Potter books because of the borderline 'satanic' content contained within them. A good night out for you is going to bed before the moon is out. You own an allotment you're too scared to visit.

The Real McCoy's

Via goodtoknow.media.ipcdigital.co.uk

You find yourself often groping yourself at the sound of a roaring engine. You are erotically charged by Jeremy Clarkson and The Grand Tour. You think people are too soft 'these days' and you don't like statistics. You read a book on the war once and can't stop speaking about it.

Salt 'n' Shake

Via jlbrooks.co.uk

You remember your youth well and all the times that your Ma pinched the blue packet of salt to stop you going on a mad one after consumption. Now you're a helicopter parent that allows your child to eat plain crisps with no salt incase their eczema flairs up again. It's all quite sad.

Seabrook

Via jlbrooks.co.uk

There is a high chance that you won't shut the fuck up about being from Yorkshire

Doritos

Via underconsideration.com

You think you're well travelled because you spent four nights on Google Maps trawling the streets of Auckland. You can't handle a real tortilla chip and need it soaked in an effluence of fake cheese. You watch too much porn and that may have irreversibly damaged you.

Tyrrells

Via tyrrellscrisps.co.uk

You actually like the finer things in life, but it's ruining you. You fantasised about violently slapping your nan to death because she didn't cook the Christmas roasts in goose fat like you specifically requested. You critique every film you watch to the point of ruin and you've got no friends.

Walkers

Walkers

You're a straight shooter, that much is guaranteed. However you fall apart in the face of diversity and open choices. You will endure a mid-life crisis and it will be your fault.

Brannigans

Via kpsnacks.com

"Well, Mussolini wasn't that bad.