As/Is·Posted on Dec 5, 201822 Overheard Tweets From This Week That Made Us Laugh But Also Question Our Whole Lives"So basically, like, having a kid is like having a 18 year pet."by Jame JacksonBuzzFeed StaffLinkFacebookPinterestTwitterMail 1. Caroline Vaughn @CaroVaughn Overheard Memphis: “Did you guys know that Pearl Harbor has a 25% on Rotten Tomatoes” “Aww, that just makes me feel bad for the people who went through it, cause that’s disrespectful!” 03:13 AM - 01 Dec 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 2. RacheyRach @RachRedux "Why the fuck are you having an affair? I fuck you and suck you everyday... how could you do this... you're a piece of shit... yeah I'll make lasagna tonight... " #overheard at target, with her kids. 05:42 PM - 01 Dec 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 3. Feliz Navidaddy @__aIana I overheard a girl say to her pal yesterday, “I mean if you can get away with wearing clothes that look and feel like pyjamas outside, why wouldn’t you?” And honestly, mood 09:34 PM - 27 Nov 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 4. Part-time Royalist @DuchessSpotting Overheard at my 11yo son’s Harry Potter party: a boy trying to cast a spell by chanting “Ivanka Kadarvra”. (Wonder what that changes you into? 😬) 04:56 AM - 01 Dec 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 5. morgan fields @mpf77367 (overheard in the Ed Dept. kitchen) Fav. Prof. #1: “Why do we have so much coffee?” Fav. Prof. #2: “Because it’s the Ed Dept.” Fav. Prof. #1: *looks in fridge* “Why do we have wine in here?” Fav. Prof. #2: “...because it’s the Ed Dept...” 10:51 PM - 30 Nov 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 6. Eve @evvvvvvve Overheard someone ordering their lunch today say, “I don’t care if there’s romaine lettuce in it, I could use a break” #mood 11:32 PM - 27 Nov 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 7. Tom McLaughlin @_TomMcLaughlin Overheard: “yeah, hi Larry, I’m actually on the lavatory so can I call you back when I’ve finished the paperwork?” #paperwork 02:58 PM - 27 Nov 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 8. Neil Wrona @neilwrona Something I #overheard at work today: Student: Why don’t I get to go in the field trip tomorrow? Admin: Because you committed a felony yesterday... Student: Yea. ONE felony! I would have so many questions if this were my first year as a teacher... https://t.co/6xrKqGDfnM 09:14 PM - 29 Nov 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 9. kylie :) @kylie_salcedo overheard conversation of kamryn talking to my mom: "yeah i had sleep paralysis and i couldn't move my body. and then Pitbull was just at the foot of my bed" 02:09 AM - 28 Nov 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 10. liv @livxmay_ overheard from the bus stop: “owls definitely don’t hoot that frequently, bro. the school system’s got you fucked up.” 01:14 AM - 28 Nov 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 11. Megan 🐲 @almostmegatron "I WAS gonna eat a granola bar, but now that I'm employed, I'm gonna eat a SANDWICH for dinner!" - overheard in the Starbucks line 06:51 PM - 27 Nov 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 12. ♥ @pettcheetah I was on FaceTime with my mom while she was shopping and I overheard another customer say “they use shaving cream instead of whipped cream!!” the locals are coming. this is not a drill. 12:55 AM - 28 Nov 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 13. Dave Schilling @dave_schilling Overheard at the Rose Bowl Flea Market: “John Mayer personally blessed these track pants.” 05:43 PM - 27 Nov 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 14. Katherine Zahler @ieatpoems Overheard a Target: "You just have to keep it alive. So basically, like, having a kid is like having a 18 year pet." Not quite right, but sure. 🙃 05:45 PM - 30 Nov 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 15. Genevieve Koski @GenevieveKoski BF overheard me listening to the "Thank U, Next" video and asked "Is she saying 'bacon, eggs'?" so that is how I will be singing this song from now on, thank you. 08:19 PM - 30 Nov 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 16. sensitive undulating goblin @1800GHOSTIE overheard a woman yelling, offended “i do NOT have a small face” at her friend 05:09 PM - 30 Nov 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 17. Beki 🌿 @bekikautz Conversation I overheard at work this morning: "Hey, how are you?" "Oh, living the dream." "Whose dream?" "Everybody's but mine." 04:22 PM - 27 Nov 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 18. Alex McCloud @abraymccloud “I’ve got my pants if I need them” - overheard in the newsroom. 12:32 AM - 28 Nov 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 19. mulling wine @HouseJug ‘I’m like the Mary Poppins of condoms’ #Overheard at the Guild 04:16 PM - 03 Dec 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 20. Dianne Valiando @DianneValiando Overheard in the office: “Well, it’s time to open up my e-mail and see who’s going to piss me off today.” 02:03 PM - 30 Nov 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 21. Aerin O'Dell @aerin_odellEdD Overheard at my 12-YO’s sleepover: “We’re not allowed to have phones in class but my friends and I still text each other on paper. 😂 03:36 AM - 01 Dec 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 22. Rachael Daigle @RachaelDaigle Overheard in the newsroom: "I'm struggling to define 'foreign tax credit' w/o using the words foreign, tax, or credit." 09:50 PM - 27 Nov 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite