1.
Overheard conversation between two older women leaving cinema after A Star Is Born...”You know she is actually a famous singer in real life,but I don’t think Lady Gaga is her real name”
2.
Just overheard a customer talking to a coworker “I need a diffuser. If I can’t cleanse my soul I’ll cleanse my house” Boy I FELT that
3.
Overheard in New York City: "I'm going to need a therapist to talk about my therapist."
4.
just overheard some dude I passed walking into my apartment building turn to his friend and say “wow what a great costume” with the most sarcastic tone. i’m in my ihop uniform lmfao
5.
Overheard on our halloween trick or treat walk 👻 10-y-o boy walking from house to parents: do they think this is ACCEPTABLE?! Instead of candy...... they gave us TOOTHBRUSHES!
6.
Overheard in the lobby Guy 1: Hey dude, you've got some updog on your face Guy 2, offended: Is that your way of trying to tell me I'm hairy? *walks away* Guy 1, to himself: ᴺᵒᵗ ᵐᵘᶜʰ ʰᵒʷ ᵃᵇᵒᵘᵗ ʸᵒᵘ
7.
Overheard in the newsroom: “It’s two Fridays in a row, Marc, that Florida has fucked me”
8.
In Court: Judge - "Sir, do you plead guilty or jot guilty or no contest?" *silence* “Sir, which do you plead?" Man - "Well I did it, but don't want to get in trouble so..."
9.
Overheard on 46th street: “There’s something that makes me uncomfortable about seeing marquees of closed shows still up. It’s like having an open casket at a funeral”
10.
[Overheard in the newsroom] Reporter: Good news, I don't have to go to the strip club! #OHnewsroom
11.
Overheard during #TrickOrTweet from a parent: “My kid should just retain me to negotiate her candy trading. I’ll take 10 percent.” #HappyHalloween2018
12.
overheard: “you can have my journals when I’m dead. I’ve been writing since 1988.”
13.
Overheard in the cafeteria today - “Don’t ostracize librarians; they are like the bees, once they are gone we have nothing.”
14.
overheard: "is that a sleep blindfold or a bra for a gnome"
15.
I overheard my dad on the phone today.............. Guy on the phone: “Hey Rooster how you doin today?” My dad: “Mannnnnn I’m hangin in there like a hair on a biscuit.” HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
16.
Overheard in the neighborhood: “This is the worst Halloween of my (seven-year-long) life!”
17.
Overheard in movie theater: Lady 1: She’s in that lawyer show. Lady 2: What? L1: That show. She’s a lawyer. She teaches. L2: About murder? L1: That’s it. A murder lawyer. L2: Hm. L1: It’s “How to commit murder.” L2: That’s it. “Committing Murder.” Both agree and move on
