1.
I overheard a lady today say “yeah she thinks she’s all that and a bag of chilli” A BAG OF CHILLI
2.
While in Nashville, I overheard a guy say, “bro, are we dressing country chic tonight?” I still haven’t recovered from it
3.
Overheard on Hawthorne: "so are you two still dressing up as steampunk Snow White and hunter?" "yeah but its evolved a bit as a concept"
4.
OVERHEARD* My six-year-old son just now to our nanny “guys can be girls, and girls can be guys, but you can’t be a house”
5.
overheard in the deland walmart bathroom: “son please hurry up and go potty so i can go home and cry.”
6.
Overheard in Whole Foods: “yeah this is the cheese and antipasti section, smells loud” —an employee giving a tour to a new employee
7.
Overheard at the dinner table: "I feel sorry for all the other subjects that don't have a periodic table." #IMarriedAChemist
8.
Overheard in the newsroom... Me (while proofing copy): Does NSYNC have a star before the N? @heykatrinajoy: Let me check the AP Stylebook...
9.
Overheard in NY “you really only have one friend.” “yeah, because other people are exhausting.”
10.
overheard at #brock kid: mom, did you get your master’s today? mom: yes I did sweetie. kid: I got skittles. so I guess we’re both having a good day.
11.
I'm studying in the sci building and I overheard someone say "I don't want to spend $300,000 on an education to squeeze teenagers pimples even tho it's satisfying ya kno"
12.
Overheard in Waitrose: "I'm pretty sure male chickens don't lay eggs." "They only find out if a chicken is female when an egg pops out". I need a drink.
13.
Overheard at the restaurant: “Hopefully the dress code is ‘garden gnome chic.’ I’m the poster child.”
14.
More things overheard from my daughter’s bedroom: “Old McDonald had a farm - E I E I OOOOO! And on that farm he had a shark! E I E I OOOOOO! with a BITE BITE HERE and a BITE BITE THERE. Here a bite! There a bite! Everywhere a BITE BITE!”
15.
Overheard at a craft show just now. Booth next to us sells handmade soaps made with goat's milk. Little girl looks at the "cute" soaps. Mom: If only I could get you to bathe... 😂😂😂😂😂😂 #overheard
16.
I just overheard at Walmart. Pharmacist: Last name first. Lady who is second in line: Lesbians first? Pharmacist: No. Last name first. For this customer. Lady sighs elaborately. Me (fist bump): Good try. Lady: I swear it will work someday.
17.
Overheard in my dorm, from the hallway: “Dude, are those tearaway pants?” *ripping sound* “DUDE THAT’S SO COOL”
18.
[at a restaurant] Server 1: you ok? Server 2: (very chipper) yeah! 1: weren’t you just crying in the walk in? 2: (chipper and irritated) Jesus Keith, if I didn’t know better I’d say you’d never met an actor before!! -overheard, LA
19.
Overheard conversation I didn’t want to hear the day after my birthday: *group of girls standing next to me* “Oh my gosh I almost forgot it was just your birthday! How old are you now?” “14” “Oh my gosh you’re so old!!!! I’m only 13.” WHAT THE HECK DOES THAT MAKE ME?! https://t.co/5gFWpaN9a8
20.
Overheard in Editorial: "Anyone have a ruler? I need to prove a point."
21.
I volunteer at a preschool each week and it’s always entertaining, but this week I overheard an exceptionally funny conversation between 2 boys: Boy1: you know, I used to be inside my mommy’s uterus Boy2: *thinks* 🤔 hmmm what’s a uterus? Boy1: uhm, I dunno! #SexEd
22.
“Nothing with that many legs can be holy”, overheard while studying Hexapodas
Y'all I am CRYINGGG!
